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Thread: *HOLIDAY EATING TIPS*

  1. #1
    Senior Member drgranny's Avatar
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    *HOLIDAY EATING TIPS*

    *1.* *Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet
    table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots,
    leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
    **
    2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You
    cannot find
    it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has
    10,000
    calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an
    eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for
    me. Have
    two. It's later than you think. It will soon be Christmas!

    3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
    gravy.
    Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your
    mashed
    potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

    4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
    whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports
    car
    with an automatic transmission.

    5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control
    your
    eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other
    people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

    6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New
    Year's.
    You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the
    time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table
    while
    carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

    7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
    frosted
    Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near
    them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the
    center of
    attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them
    behind,
    you're never going to see them again.

    8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or
    if you
    don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have
    three.
    When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day**?

    9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
    mandatory
    celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, please, have
    some
    standards!

    10. One final tip: Wear sweatpants/loose fitting clothing. If you are
    leaving the party and you can walk without help from a construction
    forklift, "you haven't been paying attention, people!" Re-read tips;
    start
    over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this
    motto to
    live by:

    "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
    arriving
    safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
    sideways, chocolate and wine in one hand, body thoroughly used up,
    totally
    worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

  2. #2
    Super Member Quiltforme's Avatar
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    I LOVE THIS!!! Going to post it on the fridge so hubby can see it!!!

  3. #3
    Super Member beachlady's Avatar
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    I chuckled all the way through this - thanks!!!

  4. #4
    Super Member ptquilts's Avatar
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    AMEN- to the part about eggnog especially. DH and I both LOVE it!!

  5. #5
    Super Member wanderingcreek's Avatar
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    Great advice. Now just have to find a party to go to! LOL

  6. #6
    Super Member icon17's Avatar
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    Just love that last bit had to print it out for the frig. 8-)

  7. #7
    Super Member SuziC's Avatar
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    I HAD TO PRINT THIS OUT FOR MY WHOLE FAMILY!! I am going to put a copy in all their Christmas Stockings :!:

  8. #8
    Super Member irishrose's Avatar
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    Loved the last paragraph. Those are words to live by all year!

  9. #9
    Super Member quiltinghere's Avatar
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    #5 is the one that gets me ticked! After I've been cooking and cleaning and decorating and baking and cooking some more...can you believe people have the nerves to say "I'm on a diet - I can't eat anymore" -

    I LOVE the people who whine and complain cause they ate too much - they're welcome to any party.

    :)

  10. #10
    T-Bones mom's Avatar
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    Thanks, I loved that advise.

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