Joke: The man laws

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Old 01-30-2012, 06:47 AM
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Default Joke: The man laws

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At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
(
I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear
" the rules"
From the female side....
Now here are the Laws from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE !

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
(
FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1.. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem
only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did
NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not
A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, itwill be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about
unless you are prepared to discuss such topics
as Football or Hockey.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.
Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh.
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Old 01-30-2012, 06:54 AM
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Thanks Butterflywing!
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Old 01-30-2012, 08:04 AM
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love it, thanks
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Old 01-30-2012, 08:58 AM
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thanks will pass it on to DH
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Old 01-30-2012, 12:39 PM
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Lol funny. I've always chuckled at my girlfriends who rant about the toilet seats - during a luncheon I once pointed out that for almost every time we have to put the seat down, he has to lift it. I got soooo many dirty looks!
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Old 01-31-2012, 06:09 AM
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Yes passing this one on. lol
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Old 01-31-2012, 06:16 AM
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Perfect--I love it
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Old 01-31-2012, 06:21 AM
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Funny comeback to the usual female sided rants - I especially liked the line about not minding sleeping on the couch at the end.
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Old 01-31-2012, 06:21 AM
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One other thing. Umm Guys. Columbas WAS LOST!! LOL or maybe thats the point and I missed it.
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Old 01-31-2012, 08:55 AM
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Originally Posted by damaquilts View Post
One other thing. Umm Guys. Columbas WAS LOST!! LOL or maybe thats the point and I missed it.
Well said!
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