ARAPROSDOKIANS for your reading pleasure
08-13-2012, 06:22 PM
#1
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Odessa, Washington
Posts: 1,872
ARAPROSDOKIANS for your reading pleasure
Some good zingers here.
ARAPROSDOKIANS... (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of
speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising
or unexpected; frequently humorous.
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it
in a fruit salad.
8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to
tell you why it isn't.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many
is research.
10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my
desk is a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of
emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a
successful man is usually another woman.
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute
to skydive twice.
18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to
live with.
19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so
they can't get away.
20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever
you hit the target.
23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
standing in a garage makes you a car.
26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.
Finally:
I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder
for me to find one now.
ARAPROSDOKIANS... (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of
speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising
or unexpected; frequently humorous.
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it
in a fruit salad.
8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to
tell you why it isn't.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many
is research.
10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my
desk is a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of
emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a
successful man is usually another woman.
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute
to skydive twice.
18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to
live with.
19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so
they can't get away.
20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever
you hit the target.
23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
standing in a garage makes you a car.
26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.
Finally:
I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder
for me to find one now.
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
barnbum
Pictures
79
10-08-2012 09:28 AM
mrsdralshhadeh
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
123
07-05-2010 09:04 PM
sewnsewer2
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
4
12-22-2009 03:27 PM
