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Thread: ARAPROSDOKIANS for your reading pleasure

  1. #1
    Super Member Farm Quilter's Avatar
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    ARAPROSDOKIANS for your reading pleasure

    Some good zingers here.

    ARAPROSDOKIANS... (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of
    speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising
    or unexpected; frequently humorous.

    1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

    2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list.

    3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright
    until you hear them speak.

    4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

    5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

    6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

    7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it
    in a fruit salad.

    8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to
    tell you why it isn't.

    9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many
    is research.

    10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my
    desk is a work station.

    11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

    12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of
    emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

    13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

    14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
    street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

    15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a
    successful man is usually another woman.

    16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

    17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute
    to skydive twice.

    18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to
    live with.

    19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so
    they can't get away.

    20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

    21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

    22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever
    you hit the target.

    23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

    24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

    25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
    standing in a garage makes you a car.

    26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.

    Finally:

    I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder
    for me to find one now.

  2. #2
    Super Member HisPatchwork's Avatar
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    I enjoyed reading them, thanks!
    HisPatchwork

  3. #3
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    thanks i enjoyed them

  4. #4
    Super Member Kitsie's Avatar
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    Those are sooo fun!
    http://s1248.photobucket.com/albums/hh485/KitsieH/
    Never regret growing older, its a privilege denied to many.
    Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

    Kitsie

  5. #5
    Super Member Caswews's Avatar
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    Had to send those on ! Loved it .. thanks for sharing !
    When Life brings big winds of change that almost blows you over.Hang on tight and Believe.
    Words and hearts should be handled with care-for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair. Author unknown to me
    Do what you feel in your heart to be right; for you'll be criticized anyway-Eleanor Roosevelt

  6. #6
    Super Member MaryAnnMc's Avatar
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    Those are terrific!!
    aka Chicken McLittle

    If it's true we learn from our mistakes, I'm going to be a genius!

  7. #7
    Super Member caspharm's Avatar
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    Very funny!!

  8. #8
    Super Member nancia's Avatar
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    t wait, and wait, and wait, and then i procrastinate.
    The only bad days are the ones you don't get.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Cagey's Avatar
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    Thanks for sharing - my coworkers got a chuckle!

  10. #10
    Super Member burchquilts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Caswews View Post
    Had to send those on ! Loved it .. thanks for sharing !
    Me, too! What a great way to start the week-end! Thanx!!!
    (`v)
    `*..*
    .
    .*).*)
    (.(. (..`..♥ rebecca

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