Banned from Woolworths!!! I just HAD TO share this with you......
12-11-2010, 03:19 AM
#1
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Qld, Australia
Posts: 984
Banned from Woolworths - Didn't like shopping there anyway
Yesterday I was at my local Woolies buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ar... and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
I'm now banned from Woolies.
Better watch what you ask retired people.
They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.
Yesterday I was at my local Woolies buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ar... and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
I'm now banned from Woolies.
Better watch what you ask retired people.
They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.
12-11-2010, 03:34 AM
#3
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Burlington, NC
Posts: 1,730
Good for you. I think those questions fall under "Here's your sign!". I once went to a fall street fest and was standing in line in front of the port-a-johns and a lady came up and asked if this was the line for the potties! No we just were standing there passing the time!
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