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Thread: Brand new "You know you're a redneck when..." -- These are so bad

  1. #1
    Super Member sewjoyce's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Brand new edition of...
    'You know you're a redneck when......
    1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
    2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
    3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
    4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
    6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
    7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
    8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
    9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
    10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
    11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
    12. Your grandmother has 'ammo' on her Christmas list.
    13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
    14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
    15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
    16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
    17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
    18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
    19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
    20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
    21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
    22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
    23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say 'Cool Whip' on the side.
    24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
    25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
    26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
    27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
    28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
    29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
    30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

    :roll: :roll: :roll:

  2. #2
    cynde's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Quote Originally Posted by Loretta
    LOL! Yes they are bad! (Why are they named Rednecks? Anyone know?)
    I think it's because they would have sunburned necks from doing manual labour in fields (on farms).

  3. #3
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    SE Wisconsin
    Those are exceptionally good redneck jokes.

    My guys will love them.

  4. #4
    Super Member Baren*eh*ked_canadian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Are those all from Jeff Foxworthy? I've heard most of those, but not all. The blue collar comedy tour is hilarious!!!

  5. #5
    Super Member Moonpi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Central FL
    Love it!

  6. #6
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Out searching for some sunshine :-)
    Blog Entries
    Good Ones!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

  7. #7
    Power Poster MadQuilter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Blog Entries
    How many of these does it take to say YEP, I'm a redneck? :D

  8. #8
    Super Member beachlady's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Now, the one about the toilet brush....I was working with a 97 year old lady who just happened to be a millionaire...... We did all sorts of things for her.....one was to clean her bathroom......one day I cleaned the toilet with the brush only to find out later that she did scratch her back with it......of course I never told her, but I made sure I scrubed the toilet brush!!! She had only used it as a back scratcher!

  9. #9
    Super Member Mplsgirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    The Villages, FL
    Yikes. My Texas husband fits 3, 4, 6, and 15.

  10. #10
    ButtercreamCakeArtist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    West Virginia
    Stop making fun of me.

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