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Thread: Brand new "You know you're a redneck when..." -- These are so bad

  1. #1
    Super Member sewjoyce's Avatar
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    Brand new edition of...
    'You know you're a redneck when......
    1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
    2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
    3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
    4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
    6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
    7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
    8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
    9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
    10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
    11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
    12. Your grandmother has 'ammo' on her Christmas list.
    13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
    14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
    15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
    16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
    17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
    18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
    19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
    20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
    21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
    22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
    23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say 'Cool Whip' on the side.
    24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
    25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
    26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
    27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
    28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
    29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
    30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.





    :roll: :roll: :roll:

  2. #2
    cynde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loretta
    LOL! Yes they are bad! (Why are they named Rednecks? Anyone know?)
    I think it's because they would have sunburned necks from doing manual labour in fields (on farms).

  3. #3

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    Those are exceptionally good redneck jokes.

    My guys will love them.

  4. #4
    Super Member Baren*eh*ked_canadian's Avatar
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    Are those all from Jeff Foxworthy? I've heard most of those, but not all. The blue collar comedy tour is hilarious!!!

  5. #5
    Super Member Moonpi's Avatar
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    Love it!

  6. #6
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    Good Ones!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

  7. #7
    Power Poster MadQuilter's Avatar
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    How many of these does it take to say YEP, I'm a redneck? :D

  8. #8
    Super Member beachlady's Avatar
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    Now, the one about the toilet brush....I was working with a 97 year old lady who just happened to be a millionaire...... We did all sorts of things for her.....one was to clean her bathroom......one day I cleaned the toilet with the brush only to find out later that she did scratch her back with it......of course I never told her, but I made sure I scrubed the toilet brush!!! She had only used it as a back scratcher!

  9. #9
    Super Member Mplsgirl's Avatar
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    Yikes. My Texas husband fits 3, 4, 6, and 15.

  10. #10
    ButtercreamCakeArtist's Avatar
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    Stop making fun of me.

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