Well, Christmas for us will be today~only one day early! It's not too bad having it early~gets the rush over and done with faster! More time for my DH to relax before he goes back to work.
This year, celebrating with us will be my oldest DD (24) with her boyfriend, my youngest DS (his fiancee) is back east with family, me, my DH (after work), my MIL (lives with us) and my ex-husband. It will be a rather small Christmas for us. We have 5 kids and three come with "attachments" (2 fiancees & 1 boyfriend). My ex decided to come and visit the two kids that live local this year again and he comes out to dinner and gifts to our house.
As I get older, this is starting to bug me. I know I should be gracious that my children (ages 21-22-24) get to see both mom and dad on Christmas, but it is hard on the old brain! My husband is very giving (he knows my past with ex), and is very open with him celebrating with us. Therefore, he says he is welcome whenever he wants to visit. He used to stay on our property with us in our camper (town is 20 miles away). When the kids got older (and we got rid of the camper) he started staying in town in a hotel. Now that they live out of the home, he stays with them in town~shouldn't bother me, right? But, it does still....
I don't know if it is like a competition and he takes my holiday from them, or just the fact that he is here-it was a very abusive relationship in the last five years of it. I have explained this to my husband and he understands. I am ok around ex (the kids are with us when he is here and he knows better now), but just want my own Christmas back! He usually only comes up every other year (for the past 12 years), but it just seems too much. I know I wouldn't want to be away from my kids, especially on the holidays, so I am trying to be understanding....but I get tired of it and who likes buying a gift for their ex anyways!
I know it probably sounds petty, but isn't there a time when the ties get cut a little more?