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Thread: dogs .....funny

  1. #1
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Crystal River Florida
    Posts
    9,466
    Dear God: Is it on purpose that our

    names are the same, only reversed?







    Why do humans smell the flowers,

    but seldom, if ever, smell one another?







    When we get to Heaven, can we sit

    on your couch? Or will it be the same old story?







    Why are there cars named after

    the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang,

    the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE

    named for a Dog? How often do you

    see a cougar riding around? We love a nice car

    ride! Would it be so hard to rename

    the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?







    If a Dog barks his head off

    in the forest and no human hears him,

    is he still a bad Dog?







    We Dogs can understand human

    verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,

    horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,

    electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee

    flight paths. What do humans understand?







    More meatballs,

    less spaghetti, please.









    Are there mailmen in Heaven?

    If there are, will I have to apologize?







    Here is a list of

    just some of the things I must remember

    to be a good Dog:

    1. I will not eat the cat's food before he eats

    it or after he throws it up.

    2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish,

    crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

    3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

    4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

    5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

    6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's

    underwear when he's on the toilet.

    7. Sticking my nose into someone's

    crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

    8. I don't need to suddenly stand

    straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

    9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before

    entering the house - not after.

    10. I will not come in from outside,

    and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.

    11. I will not sit in the middle of the living

    room, and lick my crotch.

    12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy',

    so when I play with him and he makes that noise,

    it's usually not a good thing.







    When I get to Heaven,

    may I have my testicles back?

  2. #2
    Super Member raptureready's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    5,305
    That's hilarious. Oh, BTW, dogs don't need cars named after them, they have buses.

  3. #3
    Super Member Qbee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Kentucky
    Posts
    4,167
    ROFL!!! I love them all!! Thanks again Ditter!!

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