A few chuckles!
10-13-2010, 04:54 PM
#1
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Crystal River Florida
Posts: 9,785
ALTERNATE DEFINITIONS
Banquet: The situation after it rained on the Savings & Loan.
Donkey: What you need to get into the mob boss's house.
Firm Belief: Faith in your company.
Goulash: Edible Mascara.
Labrador: The entrance to the laboratory.
Nobility: Lacks the required skills.
Ransom: Jogged a little.
Sherbet: A wager with no chance of losing.
Somersault: The seasoning used in July and August.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Sunday school teacher began her lesson with a question,
"Boys and girls, what do we know about God?"
A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the
kindergarten boy.
"Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked.
"You know - Our Father, whose art's in Heaven..."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Myra was going to the office party but needed a new party dress.
In the clothing store she asked, "May I try on that dress in the window, please?"
"Certainly not, madam," responded the salesgirl, "You'll have to use the fitting room like everyone else."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The little girl was sitting in her grandfather's lap as he read her a goodnight story. From time to time, she would take her eye's off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. By and by she was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke, "Granddaddy, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart" he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh she said," then "Granddaddy, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed honey" he assured her. "God made you just a little while ago."
"Oh" she said. Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it now isn't he?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Things learned from TV:
All crimes are solved in 1 hour.
The Good guy always wins.
When you’re trapped, you always find a way out.
A trip from Los Angeles to China takes 5 seconds.
All women still have makeup on when they wake up in the morning.
When you’re a hero, you will never get burnt in a fire.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
me n’ God love ya
Banquet: The situation after it rained on the Savings & Loan.
Donkey: What you need to get into the mob boss's house.
Firm Belief: Faith in your company.
Goulash: Edible Mascara.
Labrador: The entrance to the laboratory.
Nobility: Lacks the required skills.
Ransom: Jogged a little.
Sherbet: A wager with no chance of losing.
Somersault: The seasoning used in July and August.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Sunday school teacher began her lesson with a question,
"Boys and girls, what do we know about God?"
A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the
kindergarten boy.
"Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked.
"You know - Our Father, whose art's in Heaven..."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Myra was going to the office party but needed a new party dress.
In the clothing store she asked, "May I try on that dress in the window, please?"
"Certainly not, madam," responded the salesgirl, "You'll have to use the fitting room like everyone else."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The little girl was sitting in her grandfather's lap as he read her a goodnight story. From time to time, she would take her eye's off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. By and by she was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke, "Granddaddy, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart" he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh she said," then "Granddaddy, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed honey" he assured her. "God made you just a little while ago."
"Oh" she said. Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it now isn't he?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Things learned from TV:
All crimes are solved in 1 hour.
The Good guy always wins.
When you’re trapped, you always find a way out.
A trip from Los Angeles to China takes 5 seconds.
All women still have makeup on when they wake up in the morning.
When you’re a hero, you will never get burnt in a fire.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
me n’ God love ya
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