Funny from my MIL
05-11-2013, 01:24 PM
#1
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: California
Posts: 1,987
Funny from my MIL
Something for seniors to do to keep those "aging" grey cells active!
[TABLE]
[TR]
[TD]1. Johnny 's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May....What was the third child 's name?
2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers....What does he weigh?
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, ...what was the highest mountain in the world?
4. How much dirt is there in a hole ...that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
5. What word in the English Language ...is always spelled incorrectly?
6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. ....How is this possible?
7. In California , you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg....Why not?
8. What was the President 's Name...in 1975?
9. If you were running a race, ...and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?
10. Which is correct to say,... "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, ....how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?
Here are the Answers
1. Johnny 's mother had three children. The first child was named April The second child was named May. What was the third child 's name? Answer:Johnny of course
2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh? Answer: Meat.
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world? Answer: Mt. Everest; it just wasn 't discovered yet. [ You 're not very good at this are you?]
4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet? Answer: There is no dirt in a hole.
5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly? Answer: Incorrectly
6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possi ble? Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere
7. In California , you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not? Answer: You can 't take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera to take pictures.
8. What was the President 's Name in 1975? Answer: Same as is it now - Barack Obama [Oh, come on ...]
9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now? Answer: You would be in 2nd. Well, you passed the person in second place, not fi rst.
10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"? Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow [Duh]
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field? Answer: One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big one.
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD
1) You can't count your hair.
2) You can't wash your eyes with soap.
3) You can't breathe through your nose when your tongue is out.
Put your tongue back in your mouth, you silly person.
Ten (10) Things I know about you.
1) You are reading this.
2) You are human.
3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips.
4) You just attempted to do it.
6) You are laughing at yourself.
7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.
8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.
9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too.
[TABLE]
[TR]
[TD]1. Johnny 's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May....What was the third child 's name?
2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers....What does he weigh?
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, ...what was the highest mountain in the world?
4. How much dirt is there in a hole ...that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
5. What word in the English Language ...is always spelled incorrectly?
6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. ....How is this possible?
7. In California , you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg....Why not?
8. What was the President 's Name...in 1975?
9. If you were running a race, ...and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?
10. Which is correct to say,... "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, ....how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?
Here are the Answers
1. Johnny 's mother had three children. The first child was named April The second child was named May. What was the third child 's name? Answer:Johnny of course
2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh? Answer: Meat.
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world? Answer: Mt. Everest; it just wasn 't discovered yet. [ You 're not very good at this are you?]
4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet? Answer: There is no dirt in a hole.
5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly? Answer: Incorrectly
6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possi ble? Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere
7. In California , you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not? Answer: You can 't take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera to take pictures.
8. What was the President 's Name in 1975? Answer: Same as is it now - Barack Obama [Oh, come on ...]
9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now? Answer: You would be in 2nd. Well, you passed the person in second place, not fi rst.
10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"? Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow [Duh]
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field? Answer: One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big one.
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD
1) You can't count your hair.
2) You can't wash your eyes with soap.
3) You can't breathe through your nose when your tongue is out.
Put your tongue back in your mouth, you silly person.
Ten (10) Things I know about you.
1) You are reading this.
2) You are human.
3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips.
4) You just attempted to do it.
6) You are laughing at yourself.
7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.
8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.
9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too.
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
Ditter43
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
9
02-03-2011 06:07 PM
