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Thread: Funny Read

  1. #1
    Senior Member mike'sgirl's Avatar
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    Funny Read

    I saw this on another board and thought that y'all would get a kick out of it. Enjoy!

    A recent study indicated that fabric gives off certain Pheromones that actually hypnotize women and cause them to purchase unreasonable amounts. When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones (in the fabric) causes memory loss and induces the nesting syndrome (similar to the one squirrels have before the onset of winter i.e. storing food). Therefore perpetuating their species and not having a population loss due to their kind being cut into pieces and mixed with others.

    Sound tests have also revealed that these fabrics emit a very high pitched sound, heard only by a select few, a breed of women know as “quilters”. When played backwards on an LP, the sounds are heard as chants, “buy me, cut me and sew me”. In order to overcome the so called “feeding frenzy effect” that these fabrics cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility and use ear plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip. One must laugh, however, at the sight of customers in a quilt fabric store, with WWII army gas masks and headphones!

    Studies have also indicated that aliens have inhabited the earth, helping to spread the effects that these fabrics have on the human population. They are called QUILT FABRIC STORE CLERKS. It’s also been experienced that these same Pheromones cause a pathological need to hide these fabric purchases when taken home (or at least blend them into the existing stash), and when asked by significant other if the fabric is new, the reply is “I’ve had it for awhile.”
    ~ Author unknown

  2. #2
    Super Member
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    That is so true. Very funny.
    Sue

  3. #3
    Super Member sweetpea's Avatar
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    O How true, how true. love it thank for share.
    Scrapy quilts have more love in them.

  4. #4
    Power Poster RedGarnet222's Avatar
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    You know what? I think they are right! Also, I think my hubby has the same thing for golfing. These aliens are pretty dang sneaky.
    RedGarnet222

    "Take your needle, my child, and work at your pattern ... It will come out a rose by and by. Life is like that ...one stitch at a time, taken patiently."
    *Oliver Wendell Holms

  5. #5
    Junior Member
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    Lol ! Very funny and soooo true !

  6. #6
    Super Member
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    First laugh of the morning - thanks!

  7. #7
    Power Poster Jingle's Avatar
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    I resemble that. Thanks for sharing with us.
    Another Phyllis
    This life is the only one you get - enjoy it before you lose it.

  8. #8
    Super Member
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    I've seen this before also. It's still a cute story and great way to start the day.

  9. #9
    Super Member Latrinka's Avatar
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    Too funny, and oh sew true!
    If a woman's work is never done....why start?

  10. #10
    Super Member MaryMo's Avatar
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    This describes me perfectly .... oh my, I've been trying to hide all these years!
    Make it a scrappy happy day!

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