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Thread: Funny Story!!!!

  1. #1
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    Crystal River Florida
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    One fine Carolina evening a Mrs. George Wood,
    now deceased, called a Dr. Marvin Satterfield, a
    veterinarian in Edonton, from her home in Chowan
    County. It was about her mule, Horace.

    She was upset and said: "Doctor, Horace is sick
    and I wish you would come out and take a look at him."
    The sun was setting, but there was still plenty of daylight
    to see by. After asking a few questions and hearing
    the answers, Dr. Satterfield said: "Oh, Fannie Lamb,
    it's after six o'clock and I'm eating supper.
    Give him a dose of mineral oil and if he isn't all right
    in the morning, phone me and I'll come and take a look
    at your mule."

    She wanted to know how to give the mule
    the mineral oil and the doctor said it should be through
    a funnel. Mrs. Wood protested that the mule might bite
    her and Dr . Satterfield, a bit exasperated, said:
    "You're a farm woman and you know about these
    things, Fannie Lamb. Give it to him in the other end."

    Fannie Lamb went down to the barn and there stood
    Horace, moaning and groaning and banging his head.
    He certainly looked sick. She searched for a funnel
    but the nearest thing she could find was Uncle Bill's
    fox hunting horn, hanging on the wall of the barn.
    This was a beautiful gold-plated instrument with
    silver tassels.

    She took the horn and nervously affixed it properly.
    Horace paid no attention, and she was encouraged.
    Then she reached up on the shelf where the medicines
    for the farm animals were kept. Instead of picking up
    the mineral oil, however, she grabbed a bottle of turpentine, and she poured a liberal dose of it into the horn.

    Horace raised his head with a sudden jerk and
    stood dead still at attention for maybe three seconds.
    Then he let out a squeal that could be heard a mile
    down the road. He reared up his hind legs, brought his
    front legs down, knocked out one side of the barn,
    cleared a five-foot fence, and started down the road at
    a mad gallop. Since Horace was in pain, every few jumps
    he made, the horn would blow.

    All the hound dogs in the neighborhood knew that when
    that horn was blowing, it meant Uncle Bill was going
    fox hunting. So out on the road they went, following
    close behind Horace the Mule.

    People who witnessed that chase said it was an
    unforgettable sight. First, Horace, running at top speed
    and the horn in a most unusual position, the mellow notes
    issuing therefrom, the silver tassels waving, and the dogs
    barking joyously.

    They passed the home of Old Man Harvey Hogan,
    who was sitting on his front porch. It was said that
    Mr . Hogan had not drawn a sober breath in fifteen years.
    He gazed in fascinated amazement at the sight which
    unfolded itself before his eyes. He couldn't believe what
    he was seeing. Incidentally, Old Man Harvey Hogan
    is said now to be head man for Alcoholics Anonymous
    in the Albermarle section of the state.

    By this time it was good and dark. Horace and the
    dogs were coming to the Inland Waterway.
    The bridge tender heard the horn blowing frantically
    and figured that a fast boat was approaching.
    He hurriedly went out and cranked up the bridge.
    Horace went kerplunk into the water and, unfortunately,
    drowned. The pack of dogs also went into the water,
    but they all swam out without much difficulty.

    What makes the story doubly interesting is that the
    bridge tender was also sheriff of Chowan County and
    was running for reelection at the time. But he managed
    to get only seven votes, and these were from kinfolks.

    Those who took the trouble to analyze the election votes
    said the people there figured that any man who didn't
    know the difference between a mule with a horn up
    his caboose and a boat coming down the Inland Waterway
    wasn't fit to hold any public office in the county.

  2. #2
    Super Member Kitsie's Avatar
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    And this is for sure all true, huh?
    You wouldn't be kidding us would you Ditter? LOL

  3. #3
    Super Member cctx.'s Avatar
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    Corpus Christi, Texas (that's me!)
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    Amazing story......or joke, either way it's hilarious.

  4. #4
    Power Poster
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    Minnesota
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    Good one!

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