A Funny Story...........Who's getting old??
06-09-2010, 08:07 AM
#1
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Crystal River Florida
Posts: 9,785
> Who's getting old??
>
>
>
> "$5.37." That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me.
> I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change, when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me.
> He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."
> I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me.
> "Only $4.68," he said cheerfully.
> I stood there stupefied. I am 58, not even 60 yet. A mere child! Senior citizen?
>
>
> I took my burrito and walked out to the truck, wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil.
> Old? Me?
>
>
> I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.
>
>
> Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted!
> What am I now? A toddler?
>
>
> "Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?"
> I stared with utter disdain at the keys.
> I began to rationalize in my mind.
> "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly!
> It could happen to anyone!"
> I turned and headed back to the truck.
> I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn.
> What now?
> I checked my keys and tried another.
> Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror.
> I had no purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror.
>
>
> Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat.
> Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.
>
>
> Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.
> Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life.
> That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.
>
>
> I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time.
> There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?"
> All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?" At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.
>
>
> Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake."
> I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.
>
>
> He offered these kind words, "It's OK.
> My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."
>
>
> All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And, no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.
>
>
> As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey.
>
>
> The good news was I had successfully found my way home.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> "$5.37." That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me.
> I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change, when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me.
> He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."
> I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me.
> "Only $4.68," he said cheerfully.
> I stood there stupefied. I am 58, not even 60 yet. A mere child! Senior citizen?
>
>
> I took my burrito and walked out to the truck, wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil.
> Old? Me?
>
>
> I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.
>
>
> Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted!
> What am I now? A toddler?
>
>
> "Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?"
> I stared with utter disdain at the keys.
> I began to rationalize in my mind.
> "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly!
> It could happen to anyone!"
> I turned and headed back to the truck.
> I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn.
> What now?
> I checked my keys and tried another.
> Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror.
> I had no purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror.
>
>
> Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat.
> Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.
>
>
> Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.
> Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life.
> That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.
>
>
> I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time.
> There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?"
> All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?" At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.
>
>
> Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake."
> I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.
>
>
> He offered these kind words, "It's OK.
> My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."
>
>
> All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And, no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.
>
>
> As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey.
>
>
> The good news was I had successfully found my way home.
>
>
>
06-09-2010, 08:17 AM
#5
Banned
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,893
O.k.
through the tears rolling down my cheeks from laughter ---
That is way toooo funny!
I am so sorry you got the speeding ticket. The officer should have just given you a warning. It's a good thing he didn't decide you to driving school for seniors. :lol: :lol: :lol:
Hope your day gets better.
through the tears rolling down my cheeks from laughter ---
That is way toooo funny!
I am so sorry you got the speeding ticket. The officer should have just given you a warning. It's a good thing he didn't decide you to driving school for seniors. :lol: :lol: :lol:
Hope your day gets better.
06-09-2010, 08:17 AM
#6
Power Poster
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 17,068
HAHAHAHAHAHAH thanks for the laugh!!! :D:D:D
Side note here: We don't do fast food but once in a great while we do Taco Bell, somehow it doesn't seem as bad as the others. Problem- they NEVER, EVER, EVER get the order right!
My hubby will go through the drive-thru and when he gets home we realize. Somehow I can't convince him to check before he flies out of the drive-thru though. (when I'm not with him) LOL
Side note here: We don't do fast food but once in a great while we do Taco Bell, somehow it doesn't seem as bad as the others. Problem- they NEVER, EVER, EVER get the order right!
My hubby will go through the drive-thru and when he gets home we realize. Somehow I can't convince him to check before he flies out of the drive-thru though. (when I'm not with him) LOL
06-09-2010, 08:30 AM
#9
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 2,004
That is too funny, but I know how you feel.
Yesterday, I went to the Senior Center to check on some attachments for a fellow board member.
Everyone who saw me just ignored me like I belonged. Finally went up to the desk and asked where the sewing room was. She asked if I came here often, and I told her no, I wasn't 60 yet. She then asked if I was 55 or older, and I said yes, I'm 56. She told me that the beginning age was 55 and I could come anytime and gave me a list of classes.
I am officially a "Senior Citizen" according to them. I feel at times I just got married, but then again, that will be 38 years this August.
Time does fly!!!
Yesterday, I went to the Senior Center to check on some attachments for a fellow board member.
Everyone who saw me just ignored me like I belonged. Finally went up to the desk and asked where the sewing room was. She asked if I came here often, and I told her no, I wasn't 60 yet. She then asked if I was 55 or older, and I said yes, I'm 56. She told me that the beginning age was 55 and I could come anytime and gave me a list of classes.
I am officially a "Senior Citizen" according to them. I feel at times I just got married, but then again, that will be 38 years this August.
Time does fly!!!
06-09-2010, 08:38 AM
#10
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 375
Oh my goodness, that is so sad and funny and true all at the same time. Didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
I had a series of senior moments this past weekend, including losing my credit card and having to cancel it...5 minutes after I had used it.
And I'm 57 today. Not quite a senior but at times I really wonder...
My "dear" SIL asked me recently whether I considered myself "elderly." That's why "dear" is in raptor claws.
I had a series of senior moments this past weekend, including losing my credit card and having to cancel it...5 minutes after I had used it.
And I'm 57 today. Not quite a senior but at times I really wonder...
My "dear" SIL asked me recently whether I considered myself "elderly." That's why "dear" is in raptor claws.
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