amandasgramma

IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN IT BEFORE,
IT WILL DEFINITELY MAKE YOUR DAY.
IF YOU HAVE SEEN IT BEFORE,
IT WILL DEFINITELY RE-MAKE YOUR DAY.


An older couple is lying in bed one morning.
They had just awakened from a good night's sleep
He takes her hand and she responds, 'Don't touch me. '
'Why not?' he asked.
She answered, 'Because I'm dead.'

The husband asked...'What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another!'
She said, 'No, I'm definitely dead.'
He insisted, 'You are not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?'

'Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts.'
..............


Remember...
Once you get over the hill, you'll begin to pick up speed .




.If it weren't for STRESS
I'd have no energy at all.


Whatever hits the fan...
Will Not Be Evenly Distributed.

Everyone has a photographic memory.
Some, like me, just don't have any film.

I always know...
God won't give me more than I can handle
There are times I just wish He didn't trust me quite so much .


Dogs Have Owners ~ Cats Have Staff


Never be too open-minded, your brains may fall out.

Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian .
Not any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.




A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Middle age is when broadness of the mind
And narrowness of the waist change places.

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

Junk is something you've kept for years
And throw away three weeks before you need it.


By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

Learn from the mistakes of others. Trust me... You can't live long enough to make them all yourself. I've tried!!

CarolLady

So funny and true! Thanks for sharing!!

amma

Love them all, especially the first one :D:D:D