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Thread: GRANDPARENTS

  1. #1
    Super Member JUNEC's Avatar
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    Subject: Grandparents


    1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the
    watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many
    times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave,
    the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper
    good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without
    thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye....

    2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy
    Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62.. My
    grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did
    you start at 1?"

    3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother
    changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded
    to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and
    more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she
    threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room,
    putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the
    room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
    "Who was THAT?"

    4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her
    own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond.
    I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front
    yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the
    woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last
    she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

    5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked,
    "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"
    I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?''
    "You're both old," he replied.

    6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's
    word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's
    it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

    7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors
    yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and
    ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct.
    It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the
    door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out
    some of these colors yourself!"

    8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin,
    we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attract-
    ing pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing
    them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now
    the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

    9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly
    replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa,"
    he advised "Mine says I'm 4 to 6."

    10. A second grader came home from school and said to her
    grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make
    babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised,
    tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said. "How do
    you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl.. "You just
    change 'y' to 'I' and add 'es'."

    11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public
    servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman
    came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad
    aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?"
    she asked.. "Sure", said the young boy confidently. 'It means
    carrying a child."

    12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their
    home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the
    front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children
    started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep
    crowds back," said one child. "No," said another. "He's just for
    good luck."
    A third child brought the argument to a close."They use the
    dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

    13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh,"
    he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we
    just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we t
    ake her back to the airport."

    14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me
    good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart
    as him!

    15. My Grandparents are funny. When they bend over, you
    hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.


    SEND THIS TO OTHER GRANDPARENTS, ALMOST GRANDPARENTS, OR HECK,
    SEND IT TO EVERYONE.

    IT WILL MAKE THEIR DAY!

  2. #2
    Power Poster cjomomma's Avatar
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    This sure made my day! Thanks for posting it!

    ROTFLBO!!

  3. #3
    Member chereth's Avatar
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    Just sent my 4yo DGD home after a 10 day visit. We had a wonderful time, but oh, am I ready for a nap (and some quilting time)!

  4. #4
    a regular here
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    No.8 sounds like something my DGS would say. I loved these. They are so funny.

  5. #5
    Super Member NancyG's Avatar
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    So funny!

  6. #6
    Moderator QuiltnNan's Avatar
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    thanks for the chuckles

  7. #7
    Super Member ontheriver's Avatar
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    LOL

  8. #8
    Super Member soniboo's Avatar
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    Those are super cute, thanks for sharing the chuckles! :lol:

  9. #9
    Power Poster sueisallaboutquilts's Avatar
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    Hilarious!! I especially like 2 lol
    Thanks for the chuckles :D:D

  10. #10
    Super Member New Quilter's Avatar
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    I taught for almost 30 yrs...it never ceased to amaze me how kids' minds work... :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: Naomi

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