Engagement
05-29-2009, 08:27 PM
#4
Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In the middle of a mess...
Posts: 20,025
Set a budget!
Make it a realistic budget!
Look thru wedding books/magazines and have your daughter pick out what she is liking. Get quotes from different places. My oldest had her first wedding in CT, back in 2001. That cost us $9000. That was with the "princess" dress with the EXPENSIVE crystals on it. We just happened to get it for 1/3 of the price. We were at the right place at the right time. For her dinner, she wanted roast beef, but the chicken tasted just as good and since WE paid for it,,,,the guests were getting what WE wanted. If they wanted beef, there are restaurants down the street. lol
When you find the place you want for your reception, if it's a hall/hotel/restaurant....ask if you can do some of the decorations instead of them using theirs. Some places CHARGE for the decorations.
We did marry my oldest off AGAIN just 2 years ago. This time in Hawaii. MUCH more expensive. Well, they paid for the church. They got married at Hilton Hawaiian Village's chapel, which was almost $5000 for th 90 minutes you get to spend there. We paid for the rest. Total bill for that was just under $4000 and that included sit down dinner (fish & chicken) for 100. We did our own centerpieces too.
My best suggestion would be to go to Knot.com and check out what they offer for suggestions. There is tons of great advice there.
One thing to remember....it's HER day, not yours. She may become a Bridezilla, but if she does, just walk away for a bit. She'll calm down when she realizes what she's doing.
And most of all........HAVE FUN!
Congrats!!!!
Make it a realistic budget!
Look thru wedding books/magazines and have your daughter pick out what she is liking. Get quotes from different places. My oldest had her first wedding in CT, back in 2001. That cost us $9000. That was with the "princess" dress with the EXPENSIVE crystals on it. We just happened to get it for 1/3 of the price. We were at the right place at the right time. For her dinner, she wanted roast beef, but the chicken tasted just as good and since WE paid for it,,,,the guests were getting what WE wanted. If they wanted beef, there are restaurants down the street. lol
When you find the place you want for your reception, if it's a hall/hotel/restaurant....ask if you can do some of the decorations instead of them using theirs. Some places CHARGE for the decorations.
We did marry my oldest off AGAIN just 2 years ago. This time in Hawaii. MUCH more expensive. Well, they paid for the church. They got married at Hilton Hawaiian Village's chapel, which was almost $5000 for th 90 minutes you get to spend there. We paid for the rest. Total bill for that was just under $4000 and that included sit down dinner (fish & chicken) for 100. We did our own centerpieces too.
My best suggestion would be to go to Knot.com and check out what they offer for suggestions. There is tons of great advice there.
One thing to remember....it's HER day, not yours. She may become a Bridezilla, but if she does, just walk away for a bit. She'll calm down when she realizes what she's doing.
And most of all........HAVE FUN!
Congrats!!!!
05-30-2009, 04:29 AM
#6
Super Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Williamsport Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,361
Set a budget. Altogether, around around $3,500 was spent for our wedding. We paid for everything except the reception, my parents covered that. I can't remember price of dinners but I think reception was around $2,500. We paid for the alcohol which was two half kegs and 15 bottles of champage came to almost $500.oo. I bought a sale gown which was almost $400.00 after alterations. We also got invitation that could be hand written to save money.
Good luck. I had fun planning mine and didn't get too stressed.
Kyia
Good luck. I had fun planning mine and didn't get too stressed.
Kyia
05-30-2009, 04:34 AM
#7
Power Poster
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 18,726
Ooohhhh, congrats!!!! We ran off after the wedding planning got taken over by my Mother/family....so had enough of that. They got really carried away, guest list kept growing with people we didn't know or like. Everything got waaaayyyyy to big for us! We ended up getting married in a tiny chapel with just us and the pastor and his wife. Parents weren't happy for a while, but got over it. So...let her have her day is what I'd advise.. :lol:
05-30-2009, 06:47 AM
#8
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Pine Grove, California
Posts: 2,816
Terri has good advice, I agree completely with her suggestions. It is most important to establish a budget from the beginning. This is a one day event and you don't want to take out a loan or "borrow" from your retirement money to fund it. There are all kinds of weddings and they don't have to cost $20,000 to be lovely.
Regardless, congratulations!
p.s.---My DH didn't like our "philosophy" about spending on her wedding so she and her new hubby paid for a lot of it (used plastic, I might add). I think they're still paying for the wedding.........(got married on Catalina Island....)
Regardless, congratulations!
p.s.---My DH didn't like our "philosophy" about spending on her wedding so she and her new hubby paid for a lot of it (used plastic, I might add). I think they're still paying for the wedding.........(got married on Catalina Island....)
05-30-2009, 09:03 AM
#9
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: blink and you've missed it
Posts: 2,562
DD is getting married in 2 weeks- cost- about $6K. Other DD got married 3 years ago- cost- $14K. Difference- this one wants it low key- no frills. Has allergies so silk flowers.
She really shopped around for prices on everything. Ceremony and reception are at the same place- no limos. Her gown was bought on sale, it's all the things that go with the gown that add up- tiara, veil, slip, bra, shoes. Photographer does everything digital. He is a part timer, young and ready to make a name for himself. His website shows he has talent. But she didn't want a zillion pics. DJ- from another wedding she went to- he's not as expensive as some, but he provides what they listen to.
I splurged and got her a nice earring and necklace set- cost as much as her gown, etc. But it will be a forever gift from me to her.
Trying to think of the ways she saved- oh- she made the centerpieces, invitations, the flowers for the reception are silks too. We have a book I bought for 1st daughter's wedding- how to have a wedding for $5K. We took many ideas from this.
Enjoy planning!
She really shopped around for prices on everything. Ceremony and reception are at the same place- no limos. Her gown was bought on sale, it's all the things that go with the gown that add up- tiara, veil, slip, bra, shoes. Photographer does everything digital. He is a part timer, young and ready to make a name for himself. His website shows he has talent. But she didn't want a zillion pics. DJ- from another wedding she went to- he's not as expensive as some, but he provides what they listen to.
I splurged and got her a nice earring and necklace set- cost as much as her gown, etc. But it will be a forever gift from me to her.
Trying to think of the ways she saved- oh- she made the centerpieces, invitations, the flowers for the reception are silks too. We have a book I bought for 1st daughter's wedding- how to have a wedding for $5K. We took many ideas from this.
Enjoy planning!
05-30-2009, 09:13 AM
#10
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: blink and you've missed it
Posts: 2,562
oh- and lots of research online- you can get sooo many ideas. Hope picked a theme- Victorian, since the ceremony will take place at a Mansion (summer home for a local coal baron) and the reception is on the wrap around porch. There are about 90 people attending.
His Mom became Momzilla early on- refused to help or do anything. I had heard stories but got the shock of my life when I asked her to make cookies for the shower and she flat out said no. I asked again (not believing what I heard- thought she was joking) and she said she wasn't doing anything. I didn't know what to say- I look around the table and all the girls were looking at me with their teeth in their face (expression meaning- we knew but we never told you what she's like). And she has not done anything to help. I found out she's not happy with my daughter- she's taking away her son. She gave a token monetary gift- never made an effort to shop for something with meaning. Came right before the shower and left right after- didn't move from her seat- nothing. She had refused to do the rehearsal dinner until I told Hope to choose where she wanted it and I'd pay for that too.
Can't wait for this to be over. I'm the opposite momzilla- I want to help and she keeps saying she doesn't want money- they want to contribute too. I just don't want them to have debt after the wedding. It's the only wedding she will have and I don't want her to have regrets.
His Mom became Momzilla early on- refused to help or do anything. I had heard stories but got the shock of my life when I asked her to make cookies for the shower and she flat out said no. I asked again (not believing what I heard- thought she was joking) and she said she wasn't doing anything. I didn't know what to say- I look around the table and all the girls were looking at me with their teeth in their face (expression meaning- we knew but we never told you what she's like). And she has not done anything to help. I found out she's not happy with my daughter- she's taking away her son. She gave a token monetary gift- never made an effort to shop for something with meaning. Came right before the shower and left right after- didn't move from her seat- nothing. She had refused to do the rehearsal dinner until I told Hope to choose where she wanted it and I'd pay for that too.
Can't wait for this to be over. I'm the opposite momzilla- I want to help and she keeps saying she doesn't want money- they want to contribute too. I just don't want them to have debt after the wedding. It's the only wedding she will have and I don't want her to have regrets.
