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Thread: Holy humor

  1. #1
    Super Member Celeste's Avatar
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    Holy humor

    HOLY HUMOR

    GOOD SAMARITAN
    A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan.
    She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, wounded and
    bleeding, what would you do?" A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence,
    "I think I'd throw up.."

    DID NOAH FISH?
    A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing
    when he was on the Ark ?" "No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two
    worms."

    THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
    A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23 . She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Rick was so nervous, when it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."


    UNANSWERED PRAYER
    The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why. "Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon." "How come He doesn't answer it?" she asked.

    BEING THANKFUL
    A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?" The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"

    ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
    When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, "And all girls." This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, "Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?" Her response, "Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying 'All Men'!"

    SAY A PRAYER
    Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away. "Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer." said his mother. "I don't need to," the boy replied. "Of course, you do "his mother insisted.”We always say a prayer before eating at our house." "That's at our house." Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook.
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  2. #2
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    I'll bet these are copied by a lot of members and start showing up in a lot of church bulletins. Good clean humor!

    The only way I'll drop 10 pounds is to go shopping in England. - Maxine-

  3. #3
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    Those are all good ones! Thanks for posting!

  4. #4
    Super Member MaryStoaks's Avatar
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    Thank you Celeste!
    Mary

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  6. #6
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    Now the 2 worms was pretty darn ingenious : ) but we all can identify with the ''thank God he / she is in bed : )

  7. #7
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    Yep, copying right now! These are too good to pass up!

    Quote Originally Posted by TanyaL View Post
    I'll bet these are copied by a lot of members and start showing up in a lot of church bulletins. Good clean humor!
    Aronel aka Lee

  8. #8
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    Trust the children to be honest. Enjoyed reading them, thank you for sharing.

  9. #9
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    Thanks...my husband sends jokes to a nun who teaches Bible class and she will love these to share with her students.

  10. #10
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    Those are so funny!!!!!!!! Thanks for the laughs.

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