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Thread: Hope you enjoy this story.

  1. #1
    Junior Member
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    The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher


    I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

    When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

    Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

    She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

    'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord (umbilical cord).'

    She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

    'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

    ‘My Dad called the middle wife (mid wife). She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's Pizza man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

    'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands mimicking water flowing away. It was too much!)

    'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.'

    Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another ' Middle Wife' comes along.

    Now you have two choices....laugh and close this page or pass this along to someone else to spread the laughs. I know what I did!!!

    Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy!!!!

  2. #2
    Super Member sewwhat85's Avatar
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    LOL

  3. #3
    Super Member amandasgramma's Avatar
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    I think that's the best description I've EVER heard!!! ROL!

  4. #4
    Super Member dakotamaid's Avatar
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    Oh this is too much, we are all rolling on the floor in this house!!!!!

  5. #5
    Super Member icon17's Avatar
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    OH way to cute! really did need pic's for her mom/dad, Price less!! 8-)

  6. #6
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    No matter how many times I hear this one, it still makes me laugh. Thanks! :lol: :lol:

  7. #7
    Super Member Quilter7x's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ditter43
    No matter how many times I hear this one, it still makes me laugh. Thanks! :lol: :lol:
    Same here, how precious!

  8. #8
    Power Poster sueisallaboutquilts's Avatar
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    How cute!!

  9. #9
    Power Poster CarrieAnne's Avatar
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    cute!

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