I go To The Sea To Breathe

Just wondering how many are raising their grandchildren. We have raised the 22 yr old, his 20 yr old sister since basically since birth. And we adopted the next 2 , two yrs ago. They are 12 and 15, boy is the youngest...He is are sewer and likes soccer he got and received a used sewing machine for this past Christ*mas. Now their mother ( our DD, age 37 moved back in with us). The older two do not even consider her as mother, they use to see her twice a year, until she moved back to our state 2 yrs. ago. How do you deal with things regarding your child, the DD and still be the parent to the older children who don't accept her and the younger ones who accept her?

Patty Patches

Our dd and our grandson live with us.He calls her mama and calls me mom.This is the only home he has ever known I pray she never takes him away.I wanted partial custody so if anything ever happened to dd he wouldnt be taken from our[his] home by deadbeat dad[who signed away rights] but dd hasnt made up her mind.Just waiting in limbo,

tmg

I am 37 and raising my own children with my husband help. Three of them 17, 13, and 10. My loving mother lives next door to us. She helps out when needed or just because. I do know several GP how are raising GC and it is not right to the GP at all. I do understand that with all the deadbeats out there it happens. There are large number of single moms out there that will move back home instead of going on welfare. I know this because my DD has friends that live with grandparents and mother.

thequilteddove

I would never say that I'm raising my gd, but I play a HUGE role in her life (and so does her papa). Her mom, my daughter, and her dad are fabulous parents. My gd was born w/spina bifida and has some special needs. I am her care giver Monday through Friday while Mommy & Daddy are at work (usually a 10hr day, since she was 3mos old).

I am so grateful that I was able to retire very young so that I can be here to help. GD just turned three years old and you should see how hard this child works to do transfers from her wheel chair on to a couch and back. Or what it takes for her to climb up a short set of stairs, or what she has to do to attempt to take off/put on a pair of pants. In my eyes this child is absolutely remarkable and I feel blessed to have this time with her. As much as it's harder to do everything with her, I have never enjoyed a child so much or felt loved so much!

I know our situations are different than what I've seen posted so far. As terrible as some of the circumstances are, you all are blessed w/the opportunity to mold a young spirit and enhance their lives, not to mention all the love you'll get in return.

Sea your situation is a fragile one... Perhaps family counseling can help? I just hope your dd is mature enough to stand back & understand that her choices have lead to this. She has to be woman enough & have enough love in her heart to let you continue to be her children's mother and allow the kids all the time they need to trust in her so that they'll give her their love.

It may not be fair for grand parents to be raising their grand children (for what ever the circumstances are that lead to it), but I thank God you all ARE there for them! God bless you!

kwhite

I don't know how I would deal with this. I don't have any grands yet but you never know what your future brings. My Aunt is raising her Great Grand daughter since her son died. He was Grand Dad and raising the child.

Janetlmt

I am 52..and my two children are grown and on their own. Our daughter is married..working part time, is in nursing school..soon to graduate. Her husband is an AMTRAK train engineer..so he works wackie hours. They have a 18 month old daughter..our dear Chloe. I am taking 3 days a week to take care of her so my daughter can graduate. She has worked so hard to get this far and I love that I can take some of the burden off of her. She is a fine young woman, a dedicated mother and wife..and is top of her nursing class. I don't know how she does it all...we are so proud of her. Hats off to you if you are doing this full time..I don't know how you do it..it is not an easy task.

Mousie

I'm not raising any of my grandchildren, and it wouldn't be an easy task, especially with my health problems, but would fight for them to come live with me over going to strangers, if something happened.
My DH and I are blessed to have good SIL's and their parents, or grands, 'other' grandparents are great ppl too.
It's the children that benefit from your love, and that is why so many can't say no.
We do things we never thought we would out of love.
(Some situations do make you crazy though.) My best to anyone that got to middle age, had done their job with kids, and then 'forced' to start again.
My hat is off to you :-D

I go To The Sea To Breathe

Our dd was just 16 when the oldest was born, and she ask if we could get court guardianship. Whic we did, and that was so good. We did not know who his father was, so that ensurefd we would have a say with the courts, also he was covered on our health ins, his little sister was born when he was 17 months old. with counseling we found out that it is very common if the mother is under 18 she may be pregnant before 2 years are up due to self esteem type issues...they were right...he second child was born 3 months after she graduated from high school. she entered nursing school quit after 3 years and married a man move 1000 miles away. had 2 more children which were put into foster care for over a year before I drove to bring them to our home,..i had hoped that working with social service the parents woulld get their lives going, but they didn;t and I could not let the kids enter adoption process. They are a blessing to our lives. We are only parents they know...they are good college students, we did not adopt them, I did not want to cut them off from dd. but it turned out because they were considered "wards if the court" we nebver went to court, our lawyer did everthink, they qualified for all kinds of grants, scholarship (they both went on big soccer scholarship and the girl cheer leading and voice also.) They are so grateful to my dh and i and love us so much and like and feel comfortable around older people...I would do it all over again, which we did with the younger two. but they had seen their parents (the younger kids) fight for several years and actually send dd to hospital several times, so the younger came with a very large set of baggage, but they are doing well,, had them in counseling for first 2 years. But this is not what I thought I would be doing in my golden years...God is in control. My husband has had by-pass surgery 3 times, anuerysm surgery once and gallbladder, but he is still with me and keeps us on the right path.

Honey

Our DD, SIL and oldest DGS lived with us for 5 years. When they moved out it was very hard for us and for him. I grieved even tho they only live across town. DD saw to it that we saw him really often and now that he is 12 he walks to our house after school every day. There will always be a strong bond between us and there are times when he is still torn. It wouldn't be easy to raise my DGS's, especially in this day and age, but I would do it in a heartbeat if I had to. I would fight tooth and nail to have them with me instead of the other families.

Pam B

We have no grandchildren, yet. I do know that this year in my kdg classroom, 6 of my 17 students are being raised by grandparents (with full custody). I know of 3 more who stay with grandparents for after-school care. I do think it shows a growing trend. As a previous poster said, none of us knows what the future will bring. I am very close to retirement and, if my son and DIL have children, I would be very willing to provide child care for them. It is so difficult to find reasonably priced and good childcare these days.