mhollifiel

The Importance of walking

Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $4,000 per month. (and that's on the low side!)


My grandpa started walking
five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old
and we have no idea where the hell he is.

I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.


The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I'm doing...


I joined a health club last year,
spent about 250 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there!

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.


I do have flabby thighs,
but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, he looks good doesn't he.'


If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years,......
just getting over the hill.


We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

AND

Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look,
I just find a pub with a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave,
I look just fine.

Kitsie

That really scared me! Think I'll just sit and sew and eat chocolate bon-bons!

kountrykreation

Careful on those chocolates, dark chocolate that is... they CAN be good for you:

Heart Health Benefits of Dark Chocolate:
Dark chocolate is good for your heart. A small bar of it everyday can help keep your heart and cardiovascular system running well. Two heart health benefits of dark chocolate are:

•Lower Blood Pressure: Studies have shown that consuming a small bar of dark chocolate everyday can reduce blood pressure in individuals with high blood pressure.
•Lower Cholesterol: Dark chocolate has also been shown to reduce LDL cholesterol (the bad cholesterol) by up to 10 percent.

dglvr

Thanks for the funny.

auntmag

I agree wholeheartedly. Thanks for the laugh.

Neesie

. Love it!

Liz92B

those all sound like Maxine utterances - thanks for the giggles!!

QuiltnNan

love this one !

Tartan

Too funny! Everytime I see a news story of someone dropping dead in a marathon or dying on their exercise machine I say to my husband , "Aha, exercise kills!" I know, we all have to do it but don't you hate it?

AuntieD

Thanks for the funny. Good thing for me that I can eat some dark chocolate and not feel guilty.