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Thread: Important questions for older folks.....funny!!

  1. #1
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    Red face Important questions for older folks.....funny!!

    Important Questions and answers
    Q: Where can single men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them?
    A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.

    Q: What can a man do while his wife is going
    through menopause?
    A: Keep busy. If handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When done, you have a place to live.

    Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the
    bible... Is that true? Where is it?
    A: Yes. Matthew 14:92:
    "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt .."

    Q: How can I increase the heart rate of my over-60 year-old mate?
    A: Tell him you're pregnant.

    Q: How can I avoid that terrible curse of unsightly wrinkles?
    A: Take off your glasses.

    Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
    A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out..

    Q: Why should 60-plus people use valet parking?
    A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

    Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
    A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.

    Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
    A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

    Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
    A: On their foreheads.

    Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year
    olds when they enter antique stores?
    A: "Gosh, I remember all these!"



    SMILE, You've still got your
    sense of humor, RIGHT?
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    I quilt, therefore I am.

  2. #2
    Super Member hikingquilter's Avatar
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    LOL Love it! Guilty of #10!

  3. #3
    Junior Member sew_itnow's Avatar
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    Ditter43 you are such a refreshing person. I always stop and read what you have to say. Never fails to bring a smile to my face no mater how bad things seem to be. Thank you for the smiles and laughs.

  4. #4
    Super Member
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    You've done it again. Always enjoy your posts.

  5. #5
    Super Member Lori S's Avatar
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    I laughed out loud at this one . Thanks !

    Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the
    bible... Is that true? Where is it?
    A: Yes. Matthew 14:92:
    "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt .."

  6. #6
    Super Member DogHouseMom's Avatar
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    OMG ... almost wet myself when I read the one about fixing the crows feet!
    May your stitches always be straight, your seams always lie flat, and your grain never be biased against you.

    Sue

  7. #7
    Super Member MaryStoaks's Avatar
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    Thanks Ditter!
    Mary

  8. #8
    Junior Member Norad's Avatar
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    As usual, you brought a smile and laugh. I send most of them on to friends and family. Thank you Ditter. God bless.

  9. #9
    Super Member judykay's Avatar
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    How very true, I loved all of them..

    THANKS for the uplift !!!
    Happy Quilting
    Judy in Lower Michigan

  10. #10
    Super Member judykay's Avatar
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    How very true, I loved all of them..

    THANKS for the uplift !!!
    Happy Quilting
    Judy in Lower Michigan

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