JOKE: Idiot Sightings
09-23-2011, 06:45 AM
#101
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Campton,Kentucky
Posts: 1,397
Originally Posted by butterflywing
IDIOT SIGHTING :
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "No, it's not. Four is larger than two."
We haven't used Sears repair since.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "You gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but we cannot do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
From Kingman, KS
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they had only iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas City
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stop-light on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , MS .
I love this one!
When I left Hawaii and was transferred to Florida , I still had the Hawaiian plates on my car, as my car was shipped from Hawaii. I was parking, and a guy asked me "Wow, you drove from Hawaii to here?" I looked at him and quickly said, "Yep. I took the Hawaii/San Francisco Bridge." He nodded his head and said "Cool!"
STAY ALERT!
They walk among us... and they VOTE... and they REPRODUCE!
LOOK OUT FOR THESE PEOPLE
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "No, it's not. Four is larger than two."
We haven't used Sears repair since.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "You gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but we cannot do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
From Kingman, KS
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they had only iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas City
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stop-light on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , MS .
I love this one!
When I left Hawaii and was transferred to Florida , I still had the Hawaiian plates on my car, as my car was shipped from Hawaii. I was parking, and a guy asked me "Wow, you drove from Hawaii to here?" I looked at him and quickly said, "Yep. I took the Hawaii/San Francisco Bridge." He nodded his head and said "Cool!"
STAY ALERT!
They walk among us... and they VOTE... and they REPRODUCE!
LOOK OUT FOR THESE PEOPLE
09-23-2011, 10:31 AM
#102
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: TN
Posts: 528
You know the one about the change is kind of scary. Kids these days depend on computers for everything and it seems that they are not learning the fundamentals of math. God help us all if power was to go out for any length of time as they could not function. What ever happened to counting the change out?
09-23-2011, 07:24 PM
#105
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 506
About 20 years ago I was at a local store. Had purchased some curtains for a very large window it took 6 panels ,and had to return 2 of them they weren't long enough. And the girl behind the counter argued with me that the 2 panels were not returnable without the other 4 panels, because I had purchased them together, so i went home to get the others.Told my mom what just happened,, and went back to the store. Then told her to refund all my money and I would purchase at another store here is the funny. She told me that the curtains was all the same length, ,which they weren't the package was labeled the wrong size, so she was going to take all the curtains out of the packs and measure them. Ok I said call your super so she can see this ,and she did . to our amazement she did measure all of them ,and for the super to let her do it ???. I did get my money back. haven't seen that girlsense. Dottie Bug
09-28-2011, 09:18 AM
#108
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,229
I used to work for an ambulance company and my female partner had just dyed her hair from red to brown. One of our patients was a totally blind man that we transported regularly from his home to the hospital for treatments, who knew us all by our voices. Well, it was my turn to drive that day and I heard him say to my partner that he didn't recognize her. Her response to this BLIND man was "Oh, well that's because I used to be a REDHEAD!" She realized too late what she had said but it was too late. After hearing nothing but complete silence in the back of the ambulance for about 20 seconds I just couldn't take it anymore and busted out laughing!
09-28-2011, 05:35 PM
#109
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Northern Kentucky
Posts: 521
Okay, the ambulance story reminded me of another one...
We used to carry Braille books for the safety demonstration on board the aircraft, obviously to be offered to blind passengers. Just after making one of my flight crew aware that we had a DEAF passenger on board, she let me know she had verbally briefed him and given him the Braille book!
When I walked back to the passenger (who hadn't heard a word she said,) he was just sitting there with this huge book in his lap, looking at it...
We used to carry Braille books for the safety demonstration on board the aircraft, obviously to be offered to blind passengers. Just after making one of my flight crew aware that we had a DEAF passenger on board, she let me know she had verbally briefed him and given him the Braille book!
When I walked back to the passenger (who hadn't heard a word she said,) he was just sitting there with this huge book in his lap, looking at it...
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