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Thread: JOKE: Mental Health Hotline

  1. #1
    Super Member butterflywing's Avatar
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    Jan 2008
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    JOKE: Mental Health Hotline

    Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.

    If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.

    If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

    If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

    If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

    If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership.

    If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

    If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.

    If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.

    If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.

    If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.

    If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.

    If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

    If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.

    If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.
    if you can't fly as high as you want, fly as high as you can. -me.

  2. #2
    Super Member MaryStoaks's Avatar
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    Thanks Butterflywing!
    Mary

  3. #3
    Moderator QuiltnNan's Avatar
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    funny
    Nancy in western NY

  4. #4
    Super Member
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    I love it thanks for the laugh of the day.

  5. #5
    Senior Member
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    Iowa
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    I forgot what I was going to say. but you don't care any way and I am not going to answer you because you just want to yell at me!! LOL
    Mona Marie
    I am too Blessed to be stressed and too Anointed to be disappointed

  6. #6
    Super Member ShowMama's Avatar
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    Love it! I've been on both ends of some of those calls!
    http://signatures.mylivesignature.co...B5F8C60F07.png
    There is no snooze button on a hungry cat!

  7. #7
    Power Poster alikat110's Avatar
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    Hehehehehehe. Thanks for this funny

  8. #8
    Super Member lovelyl's Avatar
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    Thanks for a laugh this morning!
    Linda
    There may be times we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest. - Elie Wiesel

  9. #9
    Junior Member bnndr's Avatar
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    hehe, this used to be my cell phone ring tone. Loved it but it was long and people would never leave message!

  10. #10
    Super Member Crlyn's Avatar
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    Good laugh for the day
    Carolyn

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