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Thread: Joke

  1. #1
    Power Poster cjomomma's Avatar
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    Sorry if this offends anyone!!


    It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change
    the admittance policy. The new law was that in order to get into Heaven, you had
    to have a really bad day on the day that you died. The policy would go into
    effect at noon the next day.
    So, the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of
    Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly asked the
    man, 'Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you
    died.'
    'No problem, the man said. 'I came home to my 25th-floor apartment on
    my lunch hour and caught my wife having an affair. But her lover was nowhere in
    sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife was half naked and yelling
    at me as I searched the entire apartment.
    Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the
    balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips!
    The nerve of that guy!
    Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he
    fell to the ground.
    But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that
    broke his fall and he didn't ! die. Th is tic ked me off even more.
    In a rage, I went back inside to get the first heavy thing I could get
    my hands on to throw at him.
    Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator. I
    unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It
    plummeted 25 stories and crushed him!
    The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack
    and died almost instantly.'
    The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have
    a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announced, 'OK, sir. Welcome
    to the Kingdom of Heaven,' and let him in.
    A few seconds later the next guy came up. To the Angel's surprise, it
    was Donald Trump.
    'Mr. Trump, before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your
    day was like when you died.'
    Trump said, 'No problem. But you're not going to believe this. I was
    on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had been
    under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I
    guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side
    of my balcony!
    Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony
    below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his
    apartment, starts cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well, of course I fell. I
    hit some trees and bushes at the bottom, which broke my fall, so I didn't die
    right away.
    As I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable to move and in
    excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator of all things off the
    balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly.'
    The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as Trump finishes his story.
    I could get used to this new policy,' he thinks to himself. 'Very well,' the
    Angel announces. 'Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,' and he lets Trump enter.
    A few seconds later, Bill Clinton comes up to the gate. The Angel is
    almost too shocked to speak. Thoughts of assassination and war pour through the
    Angel's head. Finally he says, 'Mr. President, please tell me what it was like
    the day you died.'
    Clinton says, 'OK, picture this. I'm naked, inside a
    refrigerator....

  2. #2
    Super Member Quiltforme's Avatar
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    OMgosh.... All I have to say!!

  3. #3
    Super Member Chasing Hawk's Avatar
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    OMG !!

    Cj, too funny.

  4. #4
    Super Member Jan in VA's Avatar
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    Nose snort! :mrgreen:

    Jan in VA

  5. #5
    Super Member LeeAnn's Avatar
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    Too funny! Thanks for the laugh.

  6. #6
    Power Poster CarrieAnne's Avatar
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    OMG............lol!

  7. #7
    T-Bones mom's Avatar
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    Loved it!

  8. #8
    Senior Member janethagy's Avatar
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    thats to funny.... love it

  9. #9
    a regular here MegsAnn's Avatar
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    LOL!

  10. #10
    Super Member NCquilter's Avatar
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    LOL! Thanks for sharing

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