"Bravery Is The Capacity To Perform Properly Even When Scared Half To Death."
For those of you that don't already know, I had bariatric surgery last Memorial Day weekend and as of now have lost 180 pounds. Yes, it's been an interesting journey. ..
When I first walked into the bariatric center for the seminar and listened to a "patient testimony", I thought how hard could this be? Have a surgery, lose the weight and be skinny the rest of my life! Easy enough.
What I went through was anything but "easy". Sure, I went to all the classes, support groups, talked to people who had been successful and hooked myself up with a few mentors. Yep, done.
I was on cloud nine! I had lost 60 pounds pre-surgery! The hard part came when I was scheduled to have the procedure actually done. I was absolutely scared to death! I had complete confidence in the surgeon and the professional end. The problem was with me. After months of preparation, I found myself asking "Am I really going to be able to do this?" "What if I have lifelong complications?" "What if I screw this up and gain my weight all back again?" More importantly "What if something totally unexpected happens in surgery and I die? What will happen to my husband and sons?" Finally, I had to ask myself "Is this worth it?"
I will admit that I tried to talk myself out of it. I even tried to convince my surgeon that I if could just follow a medical eating plan and I'd be fine, after all, I had already lost 60 pounds!...well, all that did was force me to sit and decide if I wanted to REALLY go through with all of it. It was a life changing decision and was going to take all I had to get through it and continue the regimen the rest of my life.
On the morning of my surgery, I was so terrified I started thinking about forgetting the whole thing. Anxiety was overpowering my common sense and made me start second guessing all of my reasons for wanting to do it.
When they called my name and took me back to the prep area, I then said a prayer that the Lord would watch over me and carry me through this. I was terrified. I took a deep breath and when my surgeon came in, I knew the time had come.
With sweaty palms and trembling body, they took me back to surgery...and that decision that I was going to do it no matter what became one of my "defining moments" of my life. It was the first day of the rest of a beautiful life.
I now wear a necklace given to me on my birthday this year from my sister in law. It's a small metal piece that says 5-27-10. There are also two little metal beads next to it. One bead stands for my two sons, Matt and Mark. The other one represents my niece Marta and nephew Harmon. The date is a reminder to me that I did the bravest thing I had ever done. I decided on 5-27-10, that my life was worth saving and the beads are a constant remembrance of the day that I faced my greatest fear and realized that I would be enjoying many more years as mom and aunt to the four kids listed above...
Be Brave! Dare To Become Who You Were Meant To Be!
Live Your Passion!