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Men Are Just Simpler People..... funnies

Men Are Just Simpler People..... funnies

Old 10-24-2010, 11:22 AM
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Men Are Just Simpler People

NICKNAMES
· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, D###head and S*** for Brains.

EATING OUT
· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
· A woman has the last word in any argument.
· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
· A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
· A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
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Old 10-24-2010, 11:39 AM
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Ahhh......so funny.
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Old 10-24-2010, 11:45 AM
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:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
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Old 10-24-2010, 12:36 PM
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I read these to my hubby and we just laughed!! Thanks again Ditter!!
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Old 10-24-2010, 12:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Ditter43
Men Are Just Simpler People

NICKNAMES

· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, D###head and S*** for Brains.
Several of my friends and I in our 20's sat around playing poker, smoking cigars, drinking shots and calling each others those names.......LOL
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Old 10-24-2010, 07:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Ditter43
Men Are Just Simpler People

NICKNAMES
· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, D###head and S*** for Brains.

EATING OUT
· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
· A woman has the last word in any argument.
· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
· A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
· A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :roll: :XD: :thumbup: :D :mrgreen:
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Old 10-24-2010, 07:44 PM
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Oh Ditter I love your jokes/funny stories!
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Old 10-25-2010, 08:30 AM
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ROFL.
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Old 10-25-2010, 08:51 AM
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LOL!
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