Ditter43

Merry Christmas To My Female Friends



If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do

I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you

And deliver some things just inside your front door

Things you have lost, but treasured before.



I'd give you back all your maidenly vigor,

And to go along with it, a neat tiny figure.

Then restore the old color that once graced your hair

Before rinses and bleaches took residence there.



I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted

So things now suspended need not be uplifted.

I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back

Till you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.



I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin

So you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin.

You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells,

And you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells.



No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes,

No searching for spectacles when they're right on your nose.

Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny,

From a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny.



You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you take.

And no heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache.

Yes, if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid,

You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid.



I'd give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle,

And the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle.

But alas! I'm not Santa. I'm simply just me,

The matronest of matrons you ever did see.



I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got,

But I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot.

Even though we've grown older, this wish is sincere,

Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year.

patski

Merry Christmas and may you continue to bring a smile to all of us in 2012

SouthPStitches

Thank you Ditter. You can be my Santa anytime. Happy Holidays.

Vicki W

Merry Christmas Ditter, Best Wishes to you and yours.

amyjo

Merry Christmas all and a Happy New Year. May you make all the quilts you dream of this coming year.

sewmuchlove

Thanks Ditter. I know you were a comedian because I've read all your funny jokes and post. Now I know you can be a poet, angel, and Santa. This was sweet, cute, and even gave me a chuckle.
Merry Christmas to you, and God's blessing, good health, and joy in the New Year. Keep doing whatever you have been doing because you're great.

Thumbelina

Thanks Ditter. Hope all our friends on the board have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Ileen

Thanks Ditter, Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year.

bjrusty

Hi Ditter, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, wishing you many more. Barb

quiltsillysandi

Merry Christmas to you too Ditter!