A New Alphabet
03-10-2010, 06:51 PM
#1
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 3,213
A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.
Now The new Alphabet:
A is for arthritis;
B is the bad back;
C is the chest pains, perhaps cardiac?
D is for dental decay and decline;
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention;
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention;
H high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;
I for incisions with scars you can show;
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend;
K is for knees that crack when they bend;
L is for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next;
N is neuralgia in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two;
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears;
T is for tintinnabulation, bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; troubles with flow;
V is for vertigo, that's 'dizzy' you know.
W is for worry, now what's going 'round?
X is for X ray, and what might be found;
Y for another year I'm left here behind;
Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind!
I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
and I'm keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.
Now The new Alphabet:
A is for arthritis;
B is the bad back;
C is the chest pains, perhaps cardiac?
D is for dental decay and decline;
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention;
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention;
H high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;
I for incisions with scars you can show;
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend;
K is for knees that crack when they bend;
L is for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next;
N is neuralgia in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two;
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears;
T is for tintinnabulation, bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; troubles with flow;
V is for vertigo, that's 'dizzy' you know.
W is for worry, now what's going 'round?
X is for X ray, and what might be found;
Y for another year I'm left here behind;
Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind!
I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
and I'm keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!
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