PARAPROSDOKIANS- I had to look up "paraprosdokian". Here is the definition: "Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation." "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian.
Ok, so now enjoy!
1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
3. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
4. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
5. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
6. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
7. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
8. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
9. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
10. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
11. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
12. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
13. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
15. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Words of Wisdom "The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."