OH, Puns Galore!!!

Old 04-15-2012, 04:33 PM
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Default OH, Puns Galore!!!

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

PMS jokes aren't funny; period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her
pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crępes.

Velcro — what a rip off!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
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Old 04-15-2012, 04:48 PM
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Hehehehehehe
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Old 04-15-2012, 05:05 PM
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Love them!
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Old 04-15-2012, 05:45 PM
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Those are really pretty good!

Jan in VA
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Old 04-15-2012, 06:15 PM
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Ha-ha! Keep them coming please.
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Old 04-15-2012, 06:43 PM
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hahaha you just keep them coming. they get better all the time. needed a good laugh.
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Old 04-15-2012, 10:08 PM
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Thanks Ditter. You made my day.
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Old 04-16-2012, 05:54 AM
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Thanks Ditter!
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Old 04-16-2012, 06:50 PM
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Read them to my DH. We both got a good laugh!!
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Old 04-16-2012, 07:39 PM
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Thanks Ditter!
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