Old folks are a Hoot
11-01-2010, 03:51 PM
#1
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Halls Cross Roads, TN
Posts: 987
,
A TRIP TO COSTCO
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Champ, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends... it will be their laugh for the day!!!
A TRIP TO COSTCO
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Champ, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends... it will be their laugh for the day!!!
11-01-2010, 05:08 PM
#8
Super Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Baltimore,Maryland
Posts: 1,077
Oh! I am retired and sometimes I get a phone call and I can hear she is kinda young, Well I need a break from sewing and I give her crazy answers, they allways end up asking excuse me my I ask how old you are! They don't call back and I have had a good laugh!
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