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Thread: The Outhouse Poem....funny!!!

  1. #1
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    THE OUTHOUSE POEM *
    (*note: If you don't know what a Outhouse is - ask someone a little older)




    The service station trade was slow
    The owner sat around,
    With sharpened knife and cedar stick
    Piled shavings on the ground.

    No modern facilities had they,
    The log across the rill
    Led to a shack, marked His and Hers
    That sat against the hill.

    "Where is the ladies restroom, sir?"
    The owner leaning back,
    Said not a word but whittled on,
    And nodded toward the shack.






    With quickened step she entered there
    But only stayed a minute,
    Until she screamed, just like a snake
    Or spider might be in it.

    With startled look and beet red face
    She bounded through the door,
    And headed quickly for the car
    Just like three gals before.

    She missed the foot log - jumped the stream
    The owner gave a shout,
    As her silk stockings, down at her knees
    Caught on a sassafras sprout.

    She tripped and fell - got up, and then
    In obvious disgust,
    Ran to the car, stepped on the gas,
    And faded in the dust.

    Of course we all desired to know
    What made the gals all do
    The things they did, and then we found
    The whittling owner knew.

    A speaking system he'd devised
    To make the thing complete,
    He tied a speaker on the wall
    Beneath the toilet seat.






    He'd wait until the gals got set
    And then the devilish tike,
    Would stop his whittling long enough,
    To speak into the mike.

    And as she sat, a voice below
    Struck terror, fright and fear,
    "Will you please use the other hole,
    We're painting under here!"

  2. #2
    Super Member shawnemily's Avatar
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    LOL!!!
    Thank you
    Ditter!!!!

  3. #3
    Super Member mtspools's Avatar
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    HEE HEE so cute

  4. #4
    Super Member icon17's Avatar
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    :lol:

  5. #5
    Super Member Maggiesmom's Avatar
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    Oh Ditter, several years ago I was invited to spend Thanksgiving with friends of my roommate at a home near Harper's Ferry WV. The house of course dated back about 100 to 125 years old and was being restored. They only had electricity in 2 or 3 rooms and of course, the outhouse was all there was. These people were transplants from Texas and were wonderful.. This was in the late 60's and the outhouse had been painted by some free spirits of the time with flowers, butterflies and other signs of the tera....this was fun enough; but as a first time visitor I was directed to the facility down the primrose path. Electricity had been run down to same so a light came on when you walked in. However, when the door closed and you were in the normal position...music began playing. Guess what it played???? "The Eyes of Texas are Upon you". Yep that was it and of course, when you walked out being your first visit...everyone was on the front porch to get your reaction.

  6. #6
    Super Member C.Cal Quilt Girl's Avatar
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    ROFLOL... that's just onrey... LOL Thanks !!

  7. #7
    Super Member C.Cal Quilt Girl's Avatar
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    ROFLOL... that's just onrey... LOL Thanks !!

  8. #8
    Super Member
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    That's sooo bad and oh so funny'

  9. #9
    Senior Member janethagy's Avatar
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    hehehe.. love it
    :) :) :)

  10. #10
    Super Member litacats's Avatar
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    thanks Ditter I loved that one nearly woke the old man with my laugh. OH dear I am still wipeing the laughter tears away

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