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AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message. First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head .... isn't it?! I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that mess in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again]. After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car. Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). ;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi, Alex |
Wow!
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My girlfriend from Georgia sent me this but it was a personal ad in one of their newspapers. Funny stuff.
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Thanks for sharing. I will share this with my DH! He will love it
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I LOVE IT!
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That's perfect!
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Hooyah!
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OMG, I can't believe he did that. What a great idea. He was smart and maybe save that jerk frOm a life of crime.
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Oh Ditter, that is one of your best yet! Had me in stitches!
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I love this guy attitude. I couldn't have thought of all that stuff in a million years. Ingenious!!!!!!!!
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Too funny, Ditter!
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Thanks Ditter! :thumbup:
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Good one!
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Way to go, Soldier!!
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ROFLOL This is a great one also! LOL Where do you come up with all of these funny things? I am thankful that you do as I look forward to them. THnks again for the laugh.
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Prefect!!!
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Ok Its still funny as all git out but checked snopes and its not real. :-(
But we all hope it would be.:-) |
ROFLOL
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I forwarded it to my son, a Marine Corp Drill Instructor !! He'll love it!!
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Originally Posted by Ditter43
AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message. First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head .... isn't it?! I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that mess in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again]. After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car. Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). ;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi, Alex |
First good laugh I have had all day, thanks for sharing
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He is goint to be in jail for a thousand years, or get the death penitaly you don't threaten the president.
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good laught though.
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Originally Posted by damaquilts
Ok Its still funny as all git out but checked snopes and its not real. :-(
But we all hope it would be.:-) But wouldn't it make a marvelous real life advent? I'd LOVE to hear of something like this happening, wouldn't you? Mean of me maybe, but so what? These creeps deserve it. |
Originally Posted by Ramona Byrd
Originally Posted by damaquilts
Ok Its still funny as all git out but checked snopes and its not real. :-(
But we all hope it would be.:-) But wouldn't it make a marvelous real life advent? I'd LOVE to hear of something like this happening, wouldn't you? Mean of me maybe, but so what? These creeps deserve it. Kinda like the knife scene in Crocidile Dundee Always my favorite. |
What a hoot!! My ex-Marine DH really loved it (and I could see him do this). Thanks so much for sharing!
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lol! That will teach him to rob!
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I love it....OOOORRAAHH
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Love it!!
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Poetic Justice!
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Ditter, I wish you lived next door!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol:
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Don't you just love the Marines. That was great.
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GREAT!
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LOVE< LOVE< LOVE this. I really hope it's true!
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My DH and I have'nt laughed so much in a long time, Thank you Ditter
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I hope it was all true. Might make others think before they try to harm someone
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Amazing ad! I hope every word is true.
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You brighten so many days, thanks
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This is the best yet, Ditter
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Revenge is sweet.
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