We've been getting hounded for over a year by one particular telemarketer whose "crew" insists on talking to "the owner" and won't take "No, don't EVER call us again!" for an answer.

In fact, the more we tell them not to call, the more often they do.

Since we're a business, the "Do not call" registry doesn't help us.

So... since we can't seem to make them go away, can you help us have some fun with this? We're trying to come up with something that might drive them away while allowing us to get our laughs for the day.

Can't you tell them to only correspond with you via snail mail, that if they continue to "harrass" you, that you will sue?

Do like I did....

A company was calling my business/home and asking for a certain person. I finally got fed up, gave them the number for the county jail and said she was arrested for prostitution. They stopped calling.

Contact your phone company, maybe even the sheriff.

Good luck.

Pretend they are somebody else - like, "Oh, Shirley, it's so wonderful to hear from you! Completely ignore anything they try to say..

Make a tape recording of yourself saying, in a slow voice, This business does not require your assistance, this business doesn't require your assistance, over and over...

Pretend they are somebody else - like, "Oh, Shirley, it's so wonderful to hear from you! Completely ignore anything they try to say..

Make a tape recording of yourself saying, in a slow voice, This business does not require your assistance, this business doesn't require your assistance, over and over...

Do you have another line so that you can still get calls?

If so, just leave the phone off the hook. Put something over the mouthpiece so they can't hear what's going on at your place.

Maybe blow a police whistle in their ear. I don't know if you should warn them or not - it could damage their hearing.

Have somebody sneeze in the receiver - that would require sanitizing afterwards, though

Can you have someone do baby talk.

How about have someone gargle or sound like they are going to throw up?

Try to get as much information out of THEM as possible. How are you? How is your weather?

IF you have the time, that is.

ask for their home number and find out what would be a good time to call and ask if they want your services/goods.

My assistant did that to a yellow book ad salesperson. they stopped calling.

tell them the owner is in jail, for not paying his bills.

But really, why not just hang up once you know it is them? No explanation needed. It is your phone, after all.

OH< do I have the answer!!
One of my dear friends was getting some horrible calls from some nut who could obviously see her house, since he commented on when her teen daughter left the house. (This was before Caller Id,)

Another friend and I were visiting when she got "That" call and just stood there, she was forced to listen. So my other friend grabbed the phone and cooed at him, saying "Oh, you poor dear man, you must need Jesus in your life" and she preached at him and didn't give him time to say a thing till he hung up. She later recorded this on a little machine and gave it to our frightened friend, who played it as soon as she recognized this nut's voice. And yes, the police were called but could do little for her. But this recording did the trick, he finally got tired of calling and she wasn't bothered any more.

oh- I had the NRA call for my husband here at the office. I told her I was in charge, not him- he is not involved in my business in any way. And then I told her my stance on gun control and I don't need anyone beyond the 2nd amendment, if and when I would allow a gun on my property. The calls stopped.

(I've asked hubby for a machete and baseball bat- but that's another story)

I have selective call rejection on my phone. It has cut down considerably on junk calls. And even for home phones, it seems the Do Not Call list means nothing. They still call anyway.

...This is tacky, but I've heard of it being done. I've never done it OK?
Just tell them please hold, and put them on hold. Than go on about your business and forget about it. Can't bring myself to do it. But, passing along FYI.

at our office we repeatedly get calls for credit and the yellow pages--- the only thing i do is hang up as soon as i know who it is. sometimes we get more than one call a day. the bad thing about it is - some poor individual is doing this for a living and probably getting paid per call. o how i would hate to make my living that way.

I felt that way too, until I realized it is no different than spam on your computer. I just hit the "delete" button which is the hang up on the phone.

If they call like that here I put my son on the phone and he will keep them talking for a long time about nothing, sometimes the person gets irate at him not listening or what ever and has sworn at him, which he thinks is hilarious. they tend not to call back after that.

If the call is always from the same number, perhaps the phone company can put some type of block on it? Other than that, I'd just hang up without saying a word. Or ask if they'd like your attorney's number instead?

If you have a "hold" option on your phone, I wouldn't hesitate to put them on hold and leave them here. They will hang up, and it shouldn't take them more than a couple of times to figure it out. I wouldn't feel at all bad about it.

I did a few things. First, I told them that I was just an auditor in to clean up the books since the owner was in jail or in the alternative that the owner died and I was cleaning up AR.

Second, once I pretended to be a total young blonde fox...dizzy and horny as all get out. It was fun to play with him. After awhile, he faxed me something with his direct line number, thinking we were going to have some phone sex. I turned the while thing over to the authorities. The owner of the company got in a big jam because the fines are actually pretty high. The telemarketer was upset that I wasnt 25 and hot!!

Third, Ive heard a referree's whistle works pretty good too or just start hitting the numbers like you are dialing. I like the Jesus talk.

Fourth, we made up employee's and owners. Like Helen Hunt and a few other names that Patrice will block...we always just said the first name and spelled the last so they didnt "get it" right away. Or you could give them the owner, Jennifer's cell... your area code plus 867-5309 but make sure you say it 8 sixtyseven fifty three zero nine. I used to get mail for these people.

Now we have caller ID and it isnt any fun.

My BIL is getting credit card marketing calls all the time. He makes a genuine sport out of keeping them on the line as long as he can. I don't know how the guy can keep talking to them without cracking up, I roll on the floor listening to his end of the conversation.

His end usually consists of him telling the telemarketer all about his family, about how he just got out of jail, has no job but makes a little by robbing banks so he could probably pay the CC bill, how all the women in the family are prostitutes so they can help. He has a complete alter-identity made up so he can take the tm's through the entire application process using fake data.

Sometimes he uses his very thick fake Norwegian accent and drops in a few Norwegian words here and there.

It's just a hoot.

But here's the funniest one I've ever heard:

http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2...r-prank-p1.php

Try turning the tables on them. Start asking what their home phone number is, what time do they have dinner so you will know when to call, what time do they go to bed and would that be a good time to call because then no one else will interrupt your call, etc. I've heard this works.

I like the previous link. That is the best I've heard!

start the conversation with...HEY, I'M SO GLAD YOU CALLED, I HAVE A GREAT DEAL FOR YOU TODAY, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT IT..." don't let them get a word in ...talk fast, loud and be pushy...how about selling the leaves on the ground?...they will hang up on you and just may not want to call you again. i'd do it every time they call till they figure it out. bet it doesn't take long.

before I got on the do not call list, when I got a telemarketer, I would pretend to be very interested in whatever they were selling, until it got to the part of payment, then

"WHAT!! you want me to PAY for it?? You mean it isn't free!!??"

I got an email once that gave a speil when you answer the phone that you are a homicide detective and who's calling, did he know the victim, etc. It goes on and on and is hysterical. I'd love to try it some time but don't remember it all.

by now you should have the business name or you can get it on the next call. Once you get the information, tell them that you're reporting them to the state's attorney for harassment and to the better business bureau for the same. That has made folks stop...and you really can do the reporting, so it's not an empty threat.

I have used 2 different approaches. First one, I'd listen for a short while. I'd make sure I heard their names. Then I'd stop them. I would "grade" them on their presentation. I'd say things like "you got 7 points for friendliness", "4 points for getting your business across". I'd just make stuff up. They would be so flustered I would never hear from them again.
Another approach was telling them right off that I was recording the conversation and any thing they said could be used in a court of law. I would politely say "please remove my name from your list" I would repeat it until they hung up. Both worked for me and I have to admit I had fun doing it. I was funner to mess with them, rather then to get super annoyed and upset with them.

I'v told them i can't hear them and to speak up then for about30 seconds just keep repeting WHAT WHAT. they will get the message.
or just keep talking in a made up foreign language.

just tell them you do not speak english and hang up

I used to have them folks calling here all the time and I broke them one day. They called I answered and while they were talking I set the phone own under my drag car next to the headers and cranked it up and let it run for a minute goosing it here and there. After about three times like that they quit calling.

Billy

i read a list of jokes once...one of the things to do was to say wow, (get a little choked up) a friend!! i've never had a friend will you be my friend? so friend guess what i did today?? I ate an apple...mmmhhmm and it was a good apple...then i decided to go for a walk. but first i had to brush my teeth and you know i just tried this new toothpaste and it's supposed to be so amazing for sensitivity and then where was i?? oh yes so i brushed my teeth, you know you really should make sure you floss everyday. i have a cousin that never flossed and now.....blah blah blah. They'd probably hang up by the second tangent. My hubbs is good at this. Too bad I can't loan him out to you. He just went off for a few minutes because I asked him what to do...i think the Stewart sketch from Mad TV was in there somewhere...he also said to just say "i love you...you're so pretty...but i really love you..." yeah we'd have fun!

Dammit, I need to call you!! :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Billy

http://www.joke-archives.com/stress/...olicitors.html

http://www.ehow.com/how_6801461_rid-...olicitors.html for a more practical way ;)

Since you're receiving calls at a Business, you probably don't want to do the kind of stuff you'd do if you were being called at home. I think you'd want to be careful about embarassing your company or starting rumors.

So next time you receive a call, just tell the caller "The boss told all of us not to forward your calls to her, or else. And, gee, I'm sure you don't want me to get in trouble with my boss. So goodbye." click.

My dad drives a truck (owner operator), and gets all kinds of telemarketing calls because of it - factoring, tools, that kind of stuff. This one guy kept calling, and finally, the guy called when he was just driving down the road and had time to kill. So he acted all interested and kept asking about different options, etc, payment plans, just kept dragging it out, until after about 45 minutes he just said "Nope, I don't think I need that after all", and hung up. And the guy didn't call back.

Also tell them to put you on THEIR do not call list. After that, keep track of when they do call. Report them to the phone company. Every time they call. Used to be, if they kept calling, you receive money($500.) per call. I remember this from when the National Do Not Call list was implemented. Don't know if it still works, but you could try.

Actually, what I say is:

Thank you for calling. I'm going to hang up now so you can call someone that might be interested in .... . Have a good one.

And then I hang up.

I used to get so frustrated with one particular guy who tried to sell us on Basement Waterproofing. He called for three weeks strait! I finally got a plan.....i scheduled an "estimate" and he was thrilled. When he showed up at the house i said okay let's hear it....He was speechless!!
WE HAVE NO BASEMENT :lol: :lol: :lol: Never called again

I just push down one of the number keys and hold it so that it blasts a long continuous BLEEEEEEP in their headset earpiece. :D

Say nothing...hang up.

I could tell you what a friend does but i am not sure I could mention it on this forum, what I do is say hang on a minute I have to turn the gass off, then put the phone down till you hear them disconnect, it doesn't take very long,
I will abreviate what my friend does,
:oops:if a man is on the phone and she answers she asks him if he has a big D@&^ if he answers the phone and it is a woman he asks if she has big T#@'s, it gets them of the phone quick smart, they are so horrified that someone could ask such a question, if they ask what did you say he/she repeats the question. 1 got the supervisor to talk to him so he just repeated the question to her and she hung up on him, Don't know why,:oops: :lol:
I couldn't bring myself to do that. so I just ask them to hang on till they get sick of it and hang up

At our business, we say we are not interested, thank you and hang up.

Sometimes a person with a horrible accent will call and ask for the owner, sometimes using his very common first name,like they know him, we answer he won't be in until Friday, the owner will also do this.

I put them on hold too!!!