The dreaded gift swap
 

My DH family Christmas get together is large. 40 people plus. Thankfully we do an adult gift exchange. One male gift and one female gift. We play that gift swap game...rob your neighbor. I, frankly, hate bothering with this. I prefer to hang out and visit with everyone vs wasting time on this. It is voluntary to participate but i really don't care if we pay this game. Am i a scrooge?? It is not a budget concern....i am bored with it.

Sandy

sometimes in life, we have to do boring things to show that we are participants in the lives of our friends, family, and coworkers. i'm sorry to hear that you are bored with the game. to spice it up, how about putting in a gift that is more controversial and see how many times it gets 'stolen'. that's what i'd do. we used to play that game in our knitting club. one year, i got an 'obviously' regifted child's yarn kit. my best friend was more upset over it than i was. i just really enjoyed watching the others playing the game.

Hmmmm....maybe I will make a "rubber" plant to exchange. I remember one that was passed around oh so many years ago ! Great idea to shake things up!

Sandy

Maybe you should bring that up at the party this year. Maybe there are others who are bored with it too. I know we used to do this as every party we went to and I got really tired of trying to think of gift ideas that I thought someone else would like and I was always coming home with junk. Some people put no thought in it and just bought something for the price limit. My husbands work had a $20 limit. That a lot of money to put out for 2 people and come home with something to donate to Goodwill. It seemed the only thing that got passed around was the booze. Sounds like you have a lot of people and that time could be better spent on another game. Maybe you could come up with another came that would get people talking about the past or something like that.

We played this game when I worked and there was usually one gag gift that made it's way around. One time it was a picture of the boss! At the end a "real" gift was given to the one who ended up with the gag gift.

I don't blame you. I hate these kinds of things and can't believe others enjoy it that much either. I'm very glad we have never done this.

I don't care for these things, either. I don't see why you can't just bow out. I think the thing is to not bring something or take anything so you don't mess up the numbers.

We play this game each year however it is not a "gift" swap. We have a Christmas ornament swap.

My family does the gag gift exchange. It's lots of fun. One year I got a matching set of cheetah print accessories.......high heel stilettos, a purse and hat.........LOL
I saved it for a few years and "passed " it on to my Sister in Law.

I have never been a real fan of these types of exchanges. Always seemed I gave great thought over my gift of what others might like and I would end up going home with something I wouldn't even donate. One year they came up with an ornament exchange and the one I ended up with was a broken snowman. Fun! The youth group at church used to do a "white elephant" exchange, until a couple of the boys used actual trash in their gift. They thought it was funny, no one else did. I could go on, so I stopped participating. After a few years of it, it was too hard to pretend some of the off color items were funny and when others just picked out the cheapest item they could find - it was easier to stop than to pretend. I can't understand why people ca't do the gift card idea if they really feel forced into it. I know it is hard to admit sometimes when it isn't affordable, then maybe bake a bunch of cookies or something.
People shouldn't be upset about re-gifting at these things either, unless it is something that expired. People get things they really don't want - why not send it along?

Sorry to be the party-pooper, but I really prefer to give gifts to people I want to give a thoughtful gift rather than a guessing game and be the victim of someone else's thoughtlessness.

just bow out - maybe you will start a trend.

The family gift exchange doesn't have to be boring. We have used these to exchange gifts among our large family, but have used different styles of white elephant games each time. The AlbinoPhant site has many variations of the white elephant party for you to try. Here is a link to the unique game rules: http://albinophantblog.com/white-ele...e-idea-center/
I hope that this will help you guys to make the swap more engaging this year!
Sarah Christensen

We have passed an awful painting of a frog around a few years. Also a pair of red underwear. It's time to bring them out again. It's been awhile. We just go along with the games. It is the friends that count. Or the family.

Maybe suggest that instead of doing the game thing - that the money that would have been spent be donated to a charity or food shelf?

I don't care for that at all, either. I frequently get something in the "Thanks, but you REALLY shouldn't have" category that ends up being trash, clutter, or donated.

When funds are really tight - even $5.00 can matter.

So many great ideas and wise advice. I do so enjoy coming to the board. I hope you have a great holiday Sandygirl. Just being with family and friends is the most important thing.:)

i heard some ladies at the Senior Center talking about white elephant gifts. I do hope I'm not expected to waste money on one! they are wasteful and i don't have much money. I must ask tomorrow at the card game (apples to apples) i play there.

I remember a ladies group that I had joined years ago. Money was tight for everyone and we had a recycled Chinese Auction for the gift exchange. Everybody brought a gift that they had recieved in good condition and regifted it. It was the best gift exchange ever and it was just so spirited and funny. It's amazing what things folks can find to share with another. Happy Holidays with lots of laughs. :o

I never like those type of games either. When I give a gift I put lots of thought into and try to find out everything I can about whom will receive my gift. I like giving that I want the receiver to really love what they received. So I'm not good at all at those type of games. I personally would bow out and just go to be with everyone. Bake some cookies and take those. Do a cookie exchange or ornament exchange. I also like what a lot of the advice the ladies gave you.

Whatever you decide have a Happy Holidays and smile.

My siblings and I for years pulled names for gift exchanges. One of my sibs was particularly bad about being on the 'giving' end. We also had a price limit. It got very tedious after a while. I finally convinced a couple of them that none of really needed the items we were getting for one another; none of us had the room for more 'stuff'; etc. We finally decided to just do a gag re-gift exchange. Much more fun. But my one SIL still sends us stuff from the kids each year despite my pleas to not do so. The items are usually quite hideous and cheap. I'm not complaining about the amount of money spent, but if you're buying cheap stuff just to be able to say you sent a gift, and I've begged you not to, why even bother????

I enjoy the holidays. I think one reason that i dislike Ths game is that it takes up over an hour to play and once it is over...people start to bolt for the door. My DH being one of those people. I just feel like that soe god family time is taken up. Thanks for the great input.

I really like the idea of collecting money for a charity vs wasting $$ on this game.
Sandy

Our family used to do the exchange ... and it got into so many rules that it spoiled it!

My "adopted" family has done it for years and it was always a hoot. Gifts varied and always created lots of excitement during the time it took. Yes, sometimes one ended up with something they didn't really want. But for the better part they were all reasonably good things.

When it started to get boring ... or annoying re some of the gifts ... so then a theme was created for all the gifts. One year it was "liquid" ... perhaps a water hose, drinking glasses, bubble bath. I used a "maple syrup theme" with the liquid giving maple syrup, with homemade maple salad dressing and maple BBQ sauce. Another year, the theme was "blue". The host/hostess determined the theme and we knew in the summer what it would be.

Last year they switched it up ... still a price limit, the exchange, numbers drawn etc. but your gift had to be "something I made". What a range!! What surprises of talents that many of us didn't know about the other person. It sure created a lot of discussion for the rest of the day (and year!!). And WOW what a LOT of sought after gifts in the stealing part.

Needless to say, this was a hit ... and it was unanimously decided to do it again.

Yes, no surprise, I did something quilty. And haven't decided yet what this year's offering will be! :)

My family has done this a few times and we keep the price low and make it simple. It about the laughs and fun....not the "haul". Each has fun his own way....

I agree! I love the game because of the laughs it brings. It feels so good to laugh with family and friends!

Although our family isn't very big several years ago DIL#1 suggested at Thanksgiving we pull names out of a hat and instead of buying gifts for all family members we just buy one gift for the name we pull. DH was all for it as he usually only buys one gift, mine. When I told him one Christmas gift was all he would get from all of his family he quickly changed his mind. He likes to put his Santa hat on and pass out gifts for all of the family. I would have given individual gifts to all our sons, their wives and our grandkids anyway so it didn't make any difference to me. DIL#2 wasn't for it as she's stopped giving gifts to all of the family, her DH, our son, buys our gift. She has all holidays with her family so pulling names at Thanksgiving would be a problem and then when and where would we exchange Christmas gifts as we are rarely all together at anytime during Christmas. Sort of takes the whole good feeling out of sharing at Christmas.

My family plays Bingo at our Christmas gathering. We bring gag gifts and one nice gift, all wrapped. Bingo winners pick a gift. We do the rob neighbor thing too. Sometimes it is a voluntary swap. Lots of fun.

Our family is very small and we have a rule that we give gifts to the children who have not yet graduated high school...once graduated they are considered an adult. LOL However, now that we all have grands, it is getting tedious. We have also done the Dirty Santa where we picked an anonymous wrapped gift and then each take a turn either taking "away" an opened gift or choosing an unopened gift. One a gift has been "taken' 3 times it is frozen!

There are only 4 siblings and since our parents passed, 2 of the sisters would buy my brother and I small gifts even though we had agreed beforehand to only do the Dirty Santa. It always made my brother and I feel badly even though the gifts were very inexpensive. So, of course, it developed that each sibling started buying for each other and then the $ of the gift went up. Since half of the "children" did not want to participate in the Dirty Santa, it ends up being us four with just a couple of the children involved. Last year we weren't all able to get together but the siblings still bought gifts for each other and the grands.

This year with the economy, it's going to be very hard. There is no such thing as a $5.00 toy anymore except junk that breaks before they get home with it. Urggggg. Since we have several pre-teens and teens, they want gift cards so it's really not any fun to "shop" for them. I think we will agree this year to just buy for our immediate family. Although my brother is single and has no children so we always feel he gets "left out" of the gift giving.

Oh well, we will all get thru Christmas this year, too!! Hopefully....

No, you're not a Scrooge. I think those games are a waste of time and money. And I don't like making words out of the names of people who are getting married, or trying to remember the baby items on a tray, but that's just me!

Some of my children are fans of this game, but I am not. Last year I wanted to get out my many boxes of photographs and have the children start taking home the ones that pertain to them. This would turn into a day of "Remember when?", I'm sure. I lost, but this year I won't. It's my house and we'll do it my way. If the bossy one wants to play the game, she can host the dinner. I will have the scanner and lots of ink ready because I think there will requests for duplicates.

What a wonderful idea!! We still have not divided our parents' photos which are stored in boxes at my "single" brother's home which was my parents' home. I think I will suggest this to my siblings. We have several of the "adult" children who are "sentimental" and would love to see all the photos!

I also have my family photos divided into each person's name with wife, children. I am going to tell my DS/DDILs that it's their time to be the caretaker of the photos so I can use the space for more sewing goodies!!! HeHe

We always have the ornament exchange. I much prefer a gift since my tree is ornament specific. I usually buy what I like and if I don't see anything else I a try to get my ornament back. Sometimes I chicken out and don't. Especially if the one that got it really likes it. One time they caught on to what I did and they kept stealing it from me. All done in love though and they got a big kick out of it.

Our family does a little $2.00 gift exchange which is fun and then we sit down at a large table and start a puzzle that goes on all day with people dropping in and out as they wish. Very family friendly and comfortable for us

This year will be our 27th Smith festival. Every year we have it at one of three houses (there are three brothers and their wives.) With all the grandchildren now and some of their girl and boyfriends we have about 30 people. We always exchange what we call "funny gifts" and it is a hoot. Everyone brings a predetermined number of gifts (determined by the host and hostess for that year.) Never more than five per person and only three this year. I love games but, and this is a big BUT, we have a nephew who wants to play that thing where you pick a package from the pile and then he has everyone "hand it to the left, now hand it to the right, now hand it to the left", etc and it goes on forever. I absolutely hate that game, it takes up so much of our visiting time and it can take two hours to just open the funny gifts. When it is at our house we make the rules and don't play that annoying game.

We are a large family and spread all over the country, instead of exchanging names we have the people with children bring a small gift for each of their own children. This way if someone can not make it each child that is there still gets a gift. We do a womens gift swap(dirty Santa) But guys hate it so they all throw a given amount of money into a pot and they split it into three equal piles. and draw cards for the 3 highest cards and the highest cards win the pots. The guys like it , the kids love it because their parents know what they like and the women usually go along, most participate, but not all and know one cares if some do not play.

My oldest daughter, who hosts our family Christmas party, always wants to do a gag gift exchange. Everyone else hates it and would rather visit and play games. This year everyone is going to stick to their guns at Thanksgiving and say no one wants to exchange gifts at Christmas. It will be interesting to see what happens.

We have given it up, simply because some of the family members can't afford it...but the last few years we did it, we picked a letter, and all the gifts had to start with that letter. It's a challenge, and makes you think a bit. We had a $10 limit. The gift I gave for "Q" year was a quart crock jar with Quick Pick lottery tickets...my niece got $7.00 from the tickets, and keeps some cooking utensils in the jar! We have one of the kids pick a letter for the next year, and you can think about it. I got the idea from a friend who's family started with A, and proceeded through the alphabet.

Update. Due to the family gathering possibly interfering with some who have to work on Monday....the swap as been cancelled. No, I did not suggest it either. people will be dropping in at different times.

Sandy

Glad the situation settled itself... our family has had a dirty Santa t-shirt exchange with funny t-shirts. Everyone ends up with a shirt, sometimes they love it and sometimes??? :)