A Blonde's Year in Review


January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....
Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer!!!

March
Got really excited......finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....
Box said '2-4 years!'

April
Trapped on escalator for hours ...
Power went out!!!

May
Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....
8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June
Tried to go water skiing.......
Couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....
Learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....
Car swamped because soft-top was open.

September
The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it???

October
Hate M & M's.....
They are so hard to peel..

November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days ...
Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

December

Couldn't call 911.
'Duh'.....there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone!!!

THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR!

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.

A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong?'
To which she replied,'There certainly is!'

(Are you ready? This is a beauty...)


'My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'

Love 'em...but that's probably because I was born a brunette!

"What's the definition of an intelligent blonde....a golden retriever"..

So funny. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

How do you know a blonde's been using your computer? There's White-out all over the screen.
(PS: I'm blonde--at least this week)

These are too funny. Makes my glad I am brunette!

Love them!

:lol:

They are really funny and cute.

So funny. Thanks for posting.

How is a blonde like a beer bottle?
Both empty from the neck up.

Why did the blonde sit and stare at the orange juice carton?
Because it said Concentrate

Why are blonde jokes so simple?
So men can understand them!

(and yep, I'm a blonde too)

Thanks for the laugh. I too am glad I'm a brunette.

LMBO :D:D:D

Ha! I like July the best! I'm blonde too but only bottle so it doesn't count (really grey so VERY intelligent! ;-) )

lol you always make my day ,i really enjoy your jokes ans all ways share with family ,thanks butterflywing

What a hoot! Thanks for sharing.

I am laughing out loud!

I'm blond! .... and what is the joke? LOL!

I am a blonde and I love this jokes, made me laugh :XD: :lol: :-P

;)

Butterflywing, thanks for sharing and giving so many of us a great chuckle! (I have to laugh, or I'd cry at seeing all the ice and snow falling off the trees here! I'd rather see lots of sunshine melting this stuff rather than rain in January!)

:lol: :lol: Love these! (and I was blonde...now grey) :roll:

And did ya' hear about the blond who called 911 because she was standing outside her car pressing the "unlock" button on her key chain, but the door wouldn't unlock???

with age comes wisdom :roll:

And wrinkles! :mrgreen:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: I was born a redhead. Not too many jokes about us. All fiery tempered and such. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Thanks for the laughs. :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

I, too, was born redheaded, but some of the guys (one in particular) keeps saying I'm a blonde. I tell him he's color-blind, so now he's backed off to saying I'm strawberry blonde. I give him an ornery look when he brings up blonde... :twisted:

great jokes

Thanks for sharing. Laughter makes for healthier people.