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-   -   Joke: Simple Home Remedies (https://www.quiltingboard.com/general-chit-chat-non-quilting-talk-f7/joke-simple-home-remedies-t56793.html)

butterflywing 07-29-2010 08:56 AM

THESE REALLY WORK!!


AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:


1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.


2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.


3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.


4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.


5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE TOO AFRAID TO COUGH.


6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.


7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.


DAILY THOUGHT:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

WANNABEE 07-29-2010 09:00 AM

Adorable.

mochasue 07-29-2010 09:04 AM

I love #5.

dphelps 07-29-2010 09:26 AM

Rhat gave me a BIG laugh! Too cute.

MinnieKat 07-29-2010 09:32 AM

Those are tooo funny! I bet they really do work!

QBeth 07-29-2010 09:54 AM

My Bob is an electrician so he can vouch for numbers 6 and 7!! Too funny.

Lakeview Quilting 07-29-2010 10:02 AM

Absolutely, #6 is the best....

littlehud 07-29-2010 10:23 AM

That is so funny. Thanks for the laugh.

Ditter43 07-29-2010 11:04 AM

Best laugh I had today!! Thanks! :lol:

Luckynumber7 07-29-2010 02:02 PM

LMBO! Thanks for sharing.

bearisgray 07-29-2010 02:51 PM

:D

GrammaNan 07-29-2010 02:55 PM

These are great, I love them. Thanks for sharing them with us.

CarrieAnne 07-29-2010 03:23 PM

LOL!

hobo2000 07-29-2010 03:57 PM

You made my evening!

C.Cal Quilt Girl 07-29-2010 04:47 PM

LOL too true !! :)

TNAngel 07-30-2010 02:44 AM

Thanks for the laugh


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