Good Luck - my mom turned 80 last year and refused to let us give her a party. The day of her birthday, she "allowed" us to call her last two living brothers to invite them out top eat.
My one Uncle made her a bunch of chocolate (white) lolly pops
she was thrilled. They are not hard to do, molds come in every hobby/interest that you can think of - what is you FIL's hobby/interest? Two years ago at my niece's wedding, I made little chocolate frames with their engagement picture (printed out on edible waffers) they were a hugh hit!!
NormaBeth

We had a 75th for my father around this time last year. Mostly it was my aunt (his sister) and I planning it. We consulted my brother, but all he really wanted to know was how much $$ he needed to send...LOL! I knew there would be a large group, so we held it at a local park in one of their shelters. We were on a lake and had plenty of room outside for people and parking. We served clams, bbq chicken, sausage, corn on the cob, several types of salads, fruit, bday cake, beer, wine, and soda. We really did manage to surprise him. As for the troublemaking relatives, they were given a choice: come and behave or stay home. Two never showed, but the rest were there. All had a very good time (and I am NEVER doing a party that big again!!!). Good luck to you...if nothing else, know that the party will be done with soon enough. Try to relax, don't try to do it all yourself, and enjoy.

we did a surprise birthday party for my mil. When time came my husband and his sister took their mother with impression they were to take her out to dinner. They stopped at church and she wondered where I was and was told I had stopped ahead at the church to help with something there. When she started down steps we had everyone holler "Happy Birthday" we had asked everyone bring a dish and we had ordered a cake for her & all. She was really surprised and I think it all went well

we did a surprise birthday party for my mil. When time came my husband and his sister took their mother with impression they were to take her out to dinner. They stopped at church and she wondered where I was and was told I had stopped ahead at the church to help with something there. When she started down steps we had everyone holler "Happy Birthday" we had asked everyone bring a dish and we had ordered a cake for her & all. She was really surprised and I think it all went well

That was my thought exactly. He knows he'll be 75 and it's an occassion to mark. He probably knows his wife would've planned a big celebration. Why let him think you're doing nothing just to hide it and "surprise" him. Letting him in on the plannng - you'll invite the people he wants, do the things he wants and have the food he wants. What could be a BETTER way of saying Happy Birthday!?

when you send out invites, ask everyone to (quickly) send back a handwritten story that includes the birthday boy. It could be a fond memory or a funny story about him from way back when. Make a scrapbook using all these returned letters and present it to the birthday boy on the big day!

For my MIL 80th we had a family get together. My husband's sisters and I cooked a turkey and made meatballs ..we bought homemade perogies and cabbage rolls. For entertainment the grandchildren sang and played instruments. Have pictures of MIL dancing with her grandchildren with the biggest smile on her face. Each grand child gave grandma a pink rose, each greatgrand child a yellow and each child a red...It was a fantastic day and she still talked about it 10 years later. I did a family tree cross stitch for her and had it framed.

I did a party for my FIL's 80th and 85th at our home. The guest lists were 30-40 people each time. The first one was finger foods, snacks and such and for the second I did Lasagna, salad and bread. Honestly, the full meal (served buffet style) was much easier and less expensive. I spent part of one weekend on the sauce in three crockpots and froze it, then the day before the party had a cousin come help me construct 7 Lasagnas in disposable aluminum pans. I have a wonderful recipe that I would be glad to share with you.
Since I only have one oven, I baked them in the oven, a couple at a time then kept them warm in the oven and in a couple of large electric roasters. They cut easier and stay together better if allowed to cool at room temp for awhile. The Lasagnas could also be constructed and frozen in the pans. Either way they were delicious and a big hit. Simple and inexpensive decoration of the serving table is always nice.

Do get that photo of everyone. My sister and 2 brothers plus my mother had pictures taken at my Mom's 75th birthday. 2 months later my Mom died unexpectilay than one of my brothers died 12 months later. You never know what the future holds for you.

YOU CAN MANAGE THE FOOD! Think about shortcuts. wings can be bought frozen& done pop them in a slowpot -done(just reheating) Fried Chichen fromWALMART or SUPER K-meat dish done! BAGGED SALADS, the list goes on--your your friends to help. SAM'S, BJ's, COSTCO, GORDON FOOD SERVICE (GFS), - these are your friends, when doing a big party. Frozen fruit salad (GFS) just have to set down to defrost!