Skittish Cat Help Needed
 

I'm hoping someone can give me some advice. We have a year old cat that we got when she was about 4 months old. Her mother and littermates were all feral. We took her sister and her. The sister has tamed up mostly but Mischief is still skittish and won't come to us. She will take treats from my hand occasionally though. Any thoughts on how to help tame her? She is very skittish and will take off if you get close to her. I've seen some medications in the pet store to help calm cats. Do any of these work/help and if so please share the names? They are indoor cats and I don't let them outside. TIA

Patience, patience, patience. Just continue what you're doing and let her come to you. Even cats who are not feral, can be very independent. I had a cat "Jetta" was very independent. You couldn't just go pick her up. She was that way for the 4 years I had her. She got outside twice and had to litters. We eventually gave her to a lady who had a huge house and lost her own cat. She took Jetta and Lea (who we thought was Leo at first). She just let them be themselves. As long as Mischief is using the litter box, that would be my only concern. She should eventually join in play with you and her sister.

the more you can handle her, the better. we took in a mama and her two girls. one stayed in the garage while the others came in the house to eat. I figured the timid one would come around in her own good time. Mistake! Now, six years later she's much, much better. Still a timid cat though. Her mama had a second litter in our house (her boyfriend visited her before we could get her to stay inside) and one of that litter was very timid. Even though those were handled as soon as mama would let us. Lots of talking to kitty, petting and calmness around her. I pet my Rosie every day many times a day. I pick her up behind her front paws and pat her tummy, leaving her back feet on the floor. Then I do that and pick her up cupping her back feet. take her to the door to look out, talking to her all the while.kiss her ears and let her down gently. This all takes time. But do not give up. That essential bonding is missing since you couldn't get to handle her earlier. Rosie lets me pet her while eating now too. Good luck. Oh and Rosie was named Buddy first because we thought she was a he. The Vet informed me she was female so she became Buddie Rose. Big for a girl and mama wouldn't have anything to do with her really. . I did try some calming stuff at Petco but it had no effect on them. Mama is a nervous cat but loves to be petted. I take her and her tiny dtr outside on leashes. They love that!!

I think some cats are just plain timid/shy.

As someone else said, if the cat is eating, drinking, using the litter box, and not being vicious - if it lets you pet it now and then, I think things are going well.

Some people prefer not to be touched. Maybe some cats prefer minimal handling?

pretty cats, nativetexan.

Part of the problem is she isn't always using the litter box. I have two litterboxes for them and cleaned regularly.

Maybe set out another litter box?

We had one cat that urinated in one box and defecated in another one.

I already have two litter boxes. I don't really have room for another one. I don't think Mischief is using but one. I think Fluffy uses both depending on her mood.

You could try the Feliway plug-in diffusers. They tend to have a calming effect on cats (and can help with the litterbox issue, especially if you keep one near the litterbox). They can get pricey because the range is small, but we found it helped our cats with a house move. Here is a link to one on Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/Feliway-Plug-I...dp/B000WHUOEI/

Thanks for the link. I'll have to try it. The reviews were mostly positive. It seems most people used the spray instead of the diffuser. I don't have an outlet close to the litter box so the spray might work better.

I didn't even know Feliway comes in a spray! Seems it would be more cost-effective. One of the reviews said it lasts longer if sprayed on pieces of damp fabric. Good luck!

I don't know how to help with the litterbox problem but I bet you can get a lot of expert help at the Cat Site, http://www.thecatsite.com/f/

Best of luck.

Patience, my princess on high ZOEY was a born ferrel, it took her about a year and a half to be normal, if there is normal for a kitty. so loving and compassionate she is, whenever i'm sick or on bed rest after surgery, she's with me. it took some time and being kind and patient, she finally trusts us, she's three now. she's indoor and enjoys the outdoors thru windows and her throne, (yes, she has 2 tiaras). I can't imagine life without her now. what a difference three yrs make.

I have 7 indoor cats now - all were feral and all were rescues. Only 3 will come out when other people are in the house. Four hide until everyone strange goes home. All have different personalities and all have decided they like living in the house and they love my husband and me. One who came in last year didn't let us get close to him outside but then he broke his tail and his leg, could hardly walk so came to us for help. Each cat in affectionate in their own way. It may take a while but this kitty will eventually come around. She may not be as outgoing as the other cat but that is ok.

Feliway can help with nervous cats and depending on what is causing the litter box issues, it might help with that. I'm assuming she is fixed, if not having her altered could help. If she was a true feral it will take a long time for her to ever get really comfortable with humans. Is she curious about you? Will she stay in the same room with you? Does she meow? If so, then she just needs time and a little pressure...she has to take treats from your hand or allow you to pet before she gets fed. As for the litter box, if she is spraying, it's territorial and she needs to feel safe and/or cats are spraying outside and she is marking her territory. If a cat goes to the litter box and it hurts, they will avoid in the future. If they can smell where a cat/dog/human has went before, they will cover which makes cleaning up with an oxy or enzyme cleaner vitally important. I currently have 7 cats, one of them has to have a covered box, the rest prefer open. A box must be big enough for the cat and if other cats attack one while using the box, they will avoid the box in the future. I have read about kenneling cats to retrain them to use a box, it takes about 2 weeks and if you think it might help, there is a lot of info on line. If I could determine which one uses the throw rug now and then, I might try it. I think I know and I truly wonder if he is developing a form of kitty Alzheimer's. Good luck.

My sister had 2 part Persian cats she got as kittens, brother and sister. The male was very loving and friendly, the female very timid and ran away from everyone (except my sister & her husband). He was twice the size as her. They lived almost 20 years, she lost them both over the last few years. My cat I got at the Animal Rescue as a tiny kitty doesn't like to be held much, unless he wants to be. Was very shy as a kitten. But, he's not un-sociable.

Purina has a cat question section on their website.

I don't know but we have a male kitten 1/2 grown and will eat or scratch you death also he come and eat but cannot pick him up but his mom is our very very tame cat, but lord knows he ain't.I sure would like to know what works also.

My sister has the same problem as you. Took in a couple feral kitties from the same litter that found their way into her garage during the winter. The brother is tame as can be but the sister will not come near you. My mother after a couple of months has gotten her to enjoy being brushed but its hit and miss with her. Time is the only thing you've got going for you. In time she may feel comfortable enough to become one of the family.

Thanks for all the replies. I guess patience is going to be what it takes. My DH can't understand why she won't tame up. He once had a feral cat that he tamed up in about a week so he thinks this one should too. I keep telling him all cats are different. Fluffy, the tamer one, follows me like a shadow and will rub up against my legs. Usually Mischief is trailing behind her a few feet. Since they are following me around I guess they will eventually become tamer. I'm wondering, Fluffy seems to be the alpha female if that affects anything.

I used to have kitties, but now have 'the dog for people who like cats," basenjis.
They ARE very catlike in their demeanor.
I have one that's a little shy, but I've noticed, they respect their established hieracrchy, and are easier to live with when we do too. A lot tof times her behaviors come acrooss as shy, but if you really look, she's just doing what the higher ups have signaled she do.
Eating, she waits, petting she waits, getting nails trimmed, SHE can go first LOL

I've never had more than one cat, so maybe cats are the same way? Is she getting a signal from the other to hold back?

The way we've dealt with this is to always involve the shier one in the petting, or attention of any kind. The alpha learns that it's ok to pay attention to both, the shyer one learns, "Hey, alpha says it's ok, I like it!"

also, my Rosie wouldn't let us near her in the beginning so I used a fly swatter to pet her!! seriously. She lovely it. that way she got some loving and no hands touching her. Once in awhile I still use the fly swatter. Poor girl really wanted some attention. her mom never gave her any for some reason. They all get along in their own ways now. This morning I got Rosie up on her hind legs and petted her tummy and then slid her up onto my knees. She didn't know it, but she was on my lap!! One day she may get up on her own while i'm down here on the computer. she considers anyone in a chair half way safe. can't pick her up for the Vet if you're sitting down!

Many 'experts' state that kittens must be handled by humans before they are 5 weeks old if they are to be social cat. Personally I think as long as they are not hurt or scared by humans you have until they are at least 12 weeks old, if not longer. Of course unless they are born where they can be observed constantly, it's difficult to know just what has happened to them. My neighbor's tom brought a pregnant feral (about 6 months old, non-vocal, very shy) to me to feed, when the kittens were about 8 weeks old she brought them close to my house, then she started going inside to eat. I finally was able to get her and all 3 kittens in the house and started working with them. The 2 orange males were very shy and they took a lot of patience, the dilute tortie has yet to meet a stranger and was friendly from the first. I believe their Mama had been cared for when she was young, I can't prove it, but she did become a very friendly, non-vocal, inside cat. All of them became friendlier after they were fixed, the most skittish...well it took him 2 years before he would climb on a lap. For treats and wet food, he had to tolerate being touched, we had to watch that there were no sudden moves, no loud voices and he eventually began to trust.

It's quite possible the cat he tamed in a week wasn't actually feral. If you go to Alley Cat Allies they have lots of good information and it can help you determine if the cat you are watching is scared or feral. Not all homeless cats are feral, some are strays, some have been dumped and after being on their own for awhile it's hard for us to know what might have been done to them. Some regain their trust, some never do...even if they become tolerant of humans.

Someone dropped 2 kittens on me 3 yrs ago. Domino is the outgoing friendly cat, follows me everywhere. Tiger is a beautiful cat, but he is the poster boy for "Scaredy Cat". He does drive by petting. Jumps in my DH lap, gets a stroke or two, then jumps to my lap for a couple more strokes. On occasion, he will sit in my lap.

I had 2 kittens, sisters. One Issy was afraid of nothing. If she wanted to sit on my knee, along she would come past the three dogs and jump up on the lap. The sister was just the opposite and kept to herself in there bed. Issy just disappeared one day. Sister decided she was going to stay outside. I know Issy is not about her meow was so loud I would hear it.
Mi now have 2 different dogs younger than the cat and they are all about the same size. Outside they play hit each other and appear to chase each other in some kind of game.she will come in the house but does prefer outside.

Cats tend to have their own personalitites even if you tame here she will still have a little bit of that side of her that she was born with. My cat has been fearful of everything since she was a kitten and while she love all of us. She is still skittish of strangers 13 years later and I have had her since she was 2 months old. I never changed her personality despite how I worked with her with strangers, she was still fearful. Studies in the vet industry actually show that about cat that are born feral. You may be able to calm her enough that she can be handled by you and the time it takes may vary from animal to animal. But they will never be the same as a cat that was not born feral. Also their crucial socialization period is also in the first months of their life and plays a big role in how they are when they are older. I just went to a vet conference a few months ago that talked a lot about this and it was very interesting to see how early the crucial socializing period of dogs and cats were. Also interesting was the nature vs. nurture role in how cats behave, and how nature plays a big role in it.It is the same with aggressive dogs. If the mom was aggressive the likelihood of the puppies being the same way is high despite what you do.

And aren't they beauties! Very luck to have you and you to have them. You know how cats are...whatever they offer is what we graciously accept! Nice going.

I had a kitten that did not like to be petted, and learned that some cats are ultra sensitive, and petting is actually too stimulating for them. I was patient and gentle with him, and eventually he loved the petting, and became quite a lap cat. Another cat, adopted as an adult, liked to be near but never close, and not to be picked up. It took several years, but she too eventually became very affectionate. Every cat is different, so I try to be patient, appreciate their individual talents and traits, and just love them as they are.

For the past 30 years I have had 4 feral cats....three have crossed the rainbow bridge and so I have one remaining who is 18 years old. Each of them had different temperaments and different lengths of time before they became more comfortable. I never forced them to do anything. I would talk to them and have food available. Sometimes I would walk around the house leaving a trail of treats then sit on the sofa with a treat 3 feet away. When the cat became more comfortable I would place the treat closer to me. This process did not happen overnight . It was a journey of two years. At the beginning of the third year, she would come to me and lie down and expose her belly for a rub. She never liked being picked up. That was something I respected. She always had to be the one who determined when she would come closer. By the time she was 9 she would sleep at the foot of my bed every night.

be sure their litter pans are kept clean. use some baking soda in it too. and maybe even change brand of litter. good luck. I hope it works out for you.

I had to respond to this one, since I have been around a few cats in my time. You've already had a lot of good comments, but I have a couple more very specific suggestions. The first has to do with making friends with your cat. If it was ferral or raised by a ferral mom, it probably was making do by hunting. I had a cat that we got from the shelter when she was a wild "teenager" cat. We kept her in an enclosed room (the laundry room) for a while until she knew she belonged to us. Then she was allowed further into the house. She really was quite frightened of both of us. My hubby used to say she wouldn't warm up to him. The thing she missed the most was "catching her food" I figured this out when she adopted a length of binding tape (about 24") from my sewing room and every night she play with it and drag it down to the kitchen beside her food dish. The next morning, I'd put it away (on the floor of my sewing room) and then she'd repeat the gig the next night. Then, I started playing with her with the binding tape, and she had a great time. So when hubby said she wasn't warming up to him, it was because he never played with her. When he started relating to her on her terms, they became fast friends. Only later was she able to accept petting and other affection, as she gained a trust in us.

The second issue is the one about the litter boxes. In my younger years, I thought that the important thing to clean from the litter boxes was the poop, but I read in a book, and it made sense to me that the urine is also so important to keep out of the box. Animals do use it to mark their territory, and if another's urine scent is there, the area should be avoided by another cat. The author suggested that the urine forms a little mountain shape in the box, with the top of the mountain at the point of entry, and the base at the bottom of the box. She suggested keeping the litter box somewhere you pass often, and just check it and clean urine up as soon as possible. I found that clumping litter really makes this process very much more easy. And when we had two cats, it was helpful. I also did find that they did better with each their own box - still cleaning about as often as we flush. A small price to pay in labor for the great companions they have become for us. Good luck!

Thanks for the tips JoyjoyMarie and from everyone else. I have been playing with her with a strip of flannel. She will play for a few minutes then loses interest. Her mother was a feral but I think at one time she must have been tame. The person I got them from said the mother tamed up quickly. The kittens were feral for about four months. Mischief acts like she wants to get closer but will run when I try to pet her. She keeps getting closer to me when I'm on the sofa. I think Fluffy, her sister, is part of the problem too. She is a very vocal cat and has a very loud meow that sounds like she's saying "hello".

I've been using Kitten Attract litter. It's supposed to be guaranteed no accidents. It didn't work with Mischief. I just changed one box to Tidy Cats to see if that would help. One box is covered the other is open.

when you go to pet her, close your hand a bit. meaning no fingers stretched outward. they feel safer. then when you have your hand on her head you can pet her head as usual. Good luck!!! cats are worth all the trouble.

NativeTexan, I hadn't thought about that but you're right. It works the same for dogs too.