Understanding English at the Olympics (Funny)
 

LONDON (AP) -- Americans arriving for the London Olympics will find that the chasm between British and American English can seem as large as the ocean that separates the two nations. Here's a primer:

Brilliant — The land that gave us the poetic cadence of William Shakespeare now places everything into one of two categories: brilliant and rubbish. Shades of gray are not permitted. Brilliant does not mean smart or ingenious. It can mean anything from "OK," ''great" or "fun" to "stop asking questions." Each of the 542 British Olympic athletes is likely capable of using the phrase 10 times in a single press conference.

Brolly — Essential British accoutrement also known as an umbrella, carried by men and women alike daily without embarrassment. See weather.

Football — A way of life not related to the American game with helmets. Balls are propelled forward by everything except hands and arms, unless you are a goalkeeper or Diego Maradona. Describing this as "soccer" might get your teeth knocked out in a bar fight (see trollied).

Gutted — An emotion beyond "disappointed" but not quite "suicidal." Unlike fish, British athletes can be gutted more than once. Related to the nation's historic inability to win football matches on penalty kicks.

Kettle — Electric device used to boil water for tea. Also the British police practice of corralling protesters.

The loo — The toilet.

Over the moon — The opposite of gutted. Something to do with cows jumping.

Oy tink — Phrase heard with increasing urgency in bars as the night goes on and the sports debate gets more heated. Alternate spelling: "I think."

Punter — Nothing to do with a fourth down. A bettor in a land where casinos are as common as pharmacies.

Rain — See Inuit entry for snow. Too many variations to list.

Rubbish — See brilliant. No plural. Conjugate as: "I was rubbish," ''we were rubbish," ''the ref was rubbish," ''the decision to ban me for doping was rubbish." Occasionally also used to mean "garbage."

Sticky wicket — A cricket term used to describe when one is between a rock and a hard place. Easily applicable to other sports.

Taking the piss — Not to be confused with what is done in the loo. Winding somebody up or playing a joke on them. A favorite ploy of drinkers and sportswriters.

Trollied — Drunk, as in taking too much from the drinks trolley. Alcohol has fueled so many bar fights in Britain that one firm created a pint glass that doesn't shatter so it can't be used as a weapon.

Weather. See brolly. Also see rubbish.

good one :thumbup:

Also: being pissed is being drunk

When I got my first job in Australia one of the other workers (a male) asked me if I was getting a "good screw". After he picked himself up off the floor I found out he meant "pay check"!

Don't forget, if someone offers to "Knock you up" it is not necessary to slap their face. They are offering to wake you up at a certain time.

ha, ha. don't even get into quilting terms!

Plus, Central Reservations is not the number to call for a hotel room. It is what we in the US call the median strip.

I love this kind of stuff. I can think of a concept for which there are three different terms, American, British, and Canadian. Any guesses what it is? Or can anyone come up with more?

I loved this post. I watch so much British television that I've heard most of these several times, but I loved the definitions anyway, and there were a couple I wasn't sure of just from context.

Being married to a Brit and spending a fair amount of time there myself, I pride myself on speaking both English and American.

I can add several to that dictionary ....

Holes: we call it an outlet, they call it holes (or "oles" if they're from the East End).
Chemist: the Pharmacy
Wellies: boots, specifically Wellingtons
Knackered: tired
Bum: we call it a butt, rear end, or the "A" word
Git: Dumb person
Garden: any piece of land they own is the garden, never a "yard".
Ta: Thanks!
Mate: Friend
Afters: dessert
Pudding: also dessert - it could be a Pudding (NOT to be confused with the Jello brand type pudding!), or it could be pie
Pie: usually meat, if it's fruit pie they'll specify
Chips: French fries
Crisps: Potato chips
Sweets: candy


Oh ... a "fanny" is NOT a butt - rather it is referring to the lady parts. Brit's don't have "Fanny Packs"... they have "bum packs".

tons more. I've been married to the man almost a decade, and every now and then I'll still hear a new one.

Well - that explains why that book with "fanny" in the title was on the 'adult' list.

There was an author that seemed to refer to 'dangly bits' - - -