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S#@t in one hand, wish in the other... see which one gets filled first.
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My dad use to say "He wouldn't pay a nickel to watch an ant eat a bail of hay"
Grandma use to say "She's pregnant again, shoot birth control is only one cent" She later explained to me that if you keep a penny between your knees she wouldn't have gotten pregnant! "Close the screen door, your letting the flies out" When I'd be crying about something "Do you want me to give you something to cry for" Well no I am already crying! Do as I say, not as I do He won't buy you a beer, his pockets go all the way up to his elbows They are too young to get married, they are still wet behind the ears (what they said about my husband & I) My uncle when a good looking girl walked by "Damn her legs to all the way up" snug as a bug in a rug happier than a pig in mud He can kiss it where the sun don't shine I know there's more but can't think of them either! Brain goes blank when you're trying to remember! |
Originally Posted by madamekelly
Here are a few I grew up with-
He's one fry short of a happy meal. When we were in front of the TV-Your daddy ain't a winder maker! (Said by Dad) It's colder than a witches t-t in a brass bra! (If dinner filled you up)-You sure ruined my appetite! I know where you sleep.... Don't let your alligator mouth over ride your hummingbird butt. Never try to teach a pig to sing, all you do is waste your time, and annoy the pig. I gave you life, I can take it back! Stop painting me with her/his brush. Engage brain, before starting mouth. That smells so bad, it would knock a buzzard off a s--t wagon. I have one nerve left, and you're on it! It's so ugly, it would make a freight train take a dirt road. And, my all time favorite, "Jesus H. Christ!" Usually said by my father, when he found something else, that us kids should not have done! (sorry if it offends, and I still don't know what the H stands for.) Can't tell my family is from Texas and Kentucky can you? LMBO! :lol: |
My mom always said: one kid is one kid. Two kids are half a kid and three kids are no kid at all.
Now doesn't that just make your butt want to chew gum? |
Your taste is in the tongue of your shoe.
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One that totally drove me nuts was what my mom says...." I'll cross that bridge when I get to it" Funny thing is that she gets to that bridge and cant cross it.
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My father always said " you kids have a lot to learn" Mother said " I'll bet you a cent to a cookie" Really enjoying these, brings back so many memories.
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"The bigger the hair, the closer to God!"
"Diarhea of the mouth and constipation of the mind" "You're full of prunes!" What's for dinner? "pig poop and dandilions!" "Geez Louise!" "He's so ugly, he has to sneak up on water to get a drink!" |
My Grandmother always said "your eyes are bigger than your stomach' meaning I put too much on my plate, and "don't spit in the wind" if I complained about someone.
The sayings in this thread sure bring back a lot of memories. Thank you to everyone who shared. |
I told my kids 'I'll slap you so hard your kids will be born dizzy. They didn't think it was too funny.My MIL used to say-A mule can only do what a mule can do.Like it or lump it- was another I told my kids. My DH's favorite is -between a rock and a hard place.
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