Who's getting old??
I posted this last year and thought it was time for a rerun!! > > > "$5.37." That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. > I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change, when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me. > He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount." > I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. > "Only $4.68," he said cheerfully. > I stood there stupefied. I am 58, not even 60 yet. A mere child! Senior citizen? > > > I took my burrito and walked out to the truck, wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. > Old? Me? > > > I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile. > > > Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! > What am I now? A toddler? > > > "Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" > I stared with utter disdain at the keys. > I began to rationalize in my mind. > "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! > It could happen to anyone!" > I turned and headed back to the truck. > I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. > What now? > I checked my keys and tried another. > Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror. > I had no purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror. > > > Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat. > Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard. > > > Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle. > Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. > That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found. > > > I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. > There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?" > All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?" At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits. > > > Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake." > I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized. > > > He offered these kind words, "It's OK. > My grandfather does stuff like this all the time." > > > All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And, no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast. > > > As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey. > > > The good news was I had successfully found my way home. > > > |
That's so funny!
You always know how to put a smile on us, thanks for sharing. |
LOL FUNNY!
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LOL
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This is funny but I feel this is the way I am headed.
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Bahahaha! My co-workers Mom hopped into the wrong car in a parking lot last month, and when the driver lowered his newspaper she said "You're not Alfred!" ..... I am absolutely forwarding this to her right now!
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lol
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At least he knew what his truck looked like. We got a new car last summer and I still don"t recognize it when I see it!
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That's funny! I remember when I thought 40 was really old, now that I'm 41 it's not old at all.
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Originally Posted by clem55
At least he knew what his truck looked like. We got a new car last summer and I still don"t recognize it when I see it!
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