Why Parents Drink

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an
Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope
with trembling hands and read the letter.


Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it' s not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.
We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will p ray that science will find a cure for AIDS so
Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can
get to know your grandchildren.


Love, Your Son John


PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.


I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a Report card That's in my center desk drawer.


I love you.


Call me when it's safe to come home.

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:lol: :lol: :lol: sounds like what one of my kids would have pulled :lol: :lol: :lol:

i would have hung him by the thumbs as soon as they released me from the hospital after my heart attack!

Wow! ROFL

LMAO!!!! I love it!!! meanwhile I would kill poor Johnny when he got home from Tommy's if he was my son!!!

Cute, but scary.

LOL! I wouldn't wait for Johnny to be getting home. I'd be driving over to Tommy's to kill him so the blood wouldn't get on my carpet.

I would have dropped to the floor dead..and never got to the part about report cards....hang him by his thumbs in the garage...and use his room for sewing...too much lol :wink:

First I would have been scared, then angry, and then I would start working on a plan to get even :twisted: :twisted: maybe called the police on him or had someone call and tell him I had a heart attack, or moved all the furniture out of his room . Something to make him think twice about scaring me like that! :wink:

it would never be safe to come home.