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Thread: On the Punny Side of Life

  1. #1
    Super Member BuzzinBumble's Avatar
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    *Went to the cemetery the other day and saw 4 men carrying a coffin. 3 hours later I saw the same 4 men with the same coffin. Thought to myself - "They've lost the plot!"
    *I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
    *Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
    *Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
    *The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
    *The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
    *The optician backed into the lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself.
    *Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
    *To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
    *When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
    *The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium-at-large.
    *A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
    *A thief broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
    *Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
    *We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
    *When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
    *The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
    *The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
    *The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
    *If you take your laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
    *A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
    *A bicycle can't stand alone. It is two tired.
    *A will is a dead giveaway.
    *Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
    *A backward poet writes inverse.
    *In a democracy, it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
    *A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
    *If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
    *With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
    *Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
    *When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
    *A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
    *You are stuck with your debt it you can't budge it.
    *Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
    *He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
    *A calendar's days are numbered.
    *A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
    *A hard boiled egg is hard to beat.
    *He had a photogenic memory which was never developed.
    *A plateau is a high form of flattery.
    *When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
    *If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
    *When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

  2. #2
    Super Member TonnieLoree's Avatar
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    Those are great! Sending to my un-punny friends now. :-)

  3. #3
    Super Member azwendyg's Avatar
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    Good ones!!!!

  4. #4
    Moderator QuiltnNan's Avatar
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    :lol: :lol:

  5. #5
    Power Poster alikat110's Avatar
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    Funny!

  6. #6
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    :D:D:D

  7. #7
    Super Member Glassquilt's Avatar
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    :)

  8. #8
    Super Member luvstitches's Avatar
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    SOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!

  9. #9
    Senior Member hannajo's Avatar
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    LOL! thanks for posting :)

  10. #10
    Senior Member Hattie Frances's Avatar
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    LOL! This was great have to share with friends at the office.

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