Welcome to the Quilting Board!

Already a member? Login above
loginabove
OR
To post questions, help other quilters and reduce advertising (like the one on your left), join our quilting community. It's free!

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13

Thread: Quesstions that haunt me

  1. #1
    Junior Member JudyMN's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Roseville, Minnesota
    Posts
    298
    ----- QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME!

    Can you cry under water?


    How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?


    Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going?




    Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?


    Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


    What disease did cured ham actually have?


    How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

    Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

    If a deaf person has to go to court,
    is it still called a hearing?

    Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?


    Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


    Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
    They're going to see you naked anyway...


    Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?


    Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


    If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

    If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?


    Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?They're both dogs!


    If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?


    If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?


    If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


    Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?


    Why did you just try singing the two songs above?


    Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid
    when it's in your butt?

    Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's
    face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

    Why, Why, Why

    do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

    Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four
    billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?




    Why do they use sterilized needles
    for death by lethal injection?



    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

    Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

    Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

    Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

    If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

    Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

    Is there ever a day that mattresses
    are not on sale?

    Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

    Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the
    vacuum one more chance?

    Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

    How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light
    fixtures?

    Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

    In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

    How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

    And my
    FAVORITE.........

    The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.


    ~~~ Now send this on to your friends and make them smile too! ~~~


    ****A day without a smile is like a
    day without sunshine!****

  2. #2
    Power Poster alikat110's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Waco, Texas
    Posts
    15,166
    Blog Entries
    9
    Funny. I WILL think twice b/f buying a "cured" ham

  3. #3
    Super Member katesnanna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Brisbane, Australia
    Posts
    3,096
    Blog Entries
    15
    Thank you for these. Started my day off with a smile or two.
    Smiles
    Jude

  4. #4
    Senior Member Sandi19's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    FL, formerly IL
    Posts
    359
    Absolutely hilarious. It sounds like a Sienfeld sketch!

  5. #5
    Super Member virtualbernie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    3,590
    Blog Entries
    3
    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

  6. #6
    Power Poster cjomomma's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Murray, Ky. Looking for a nice cushy pillow to rest my head on!
    Posts
    16,529
    Blog Entries
    2
    Thanks for the smiles.

  7. #7
    Super Member chairjogger's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    My favorite place in the world is Lake Erie Region USA
    Posts
    2,750
    Blog Entries
    2
    oh my gosh !!! how long did it take for you to think all this stuff up?

  8. #8
    Senior Member Hen3rietta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    SE Pennsylvania
    Posts
    626
    Thanks for the laugh!

  9. #9
    Super Member cctx.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Corpus Christi, Texas (that's me!)
    Posts
    4,869
    Blog Entries
    2
    It's elemental.

  10. #10
    Power Poster sueisallaboutquilts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    17,477
    Hilarious!!! :D:D

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.