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Thread: speeding ticket plus

  1. #1
    Junior Member JudyMN's Avatar
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    speeding ticket plus

    A police officer pulls over a speeding car.

    The officer says, ' I clocked you at 110 mph, sir.'

    The driver says, 'Christ, officer I had it on cruise control at 70, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.'

    Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'
    As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?'
    The wife smiles demurely and says, ! 'You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.'

    As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, dammit woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

    The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic £40 fine.'

    The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket'

    The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'

    And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'why donít you keep your chuffin mouth shut !!

    The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'


    I love this part... :




    'Only when he's had a few drinks.'

  2. #2
    Super Member Jan in VA's Avatar
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    Good one!!
    Jan in VA
    Living in the foothills
    peacefully colors my world.

  3. #3
    Super Member donnalynett's Avatar
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    Oh how funny!

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    Out of the mouths of wives. Too funny.

  5. #5
    Super Member
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    Bwahahahaha!

  6. #6
    Super Member
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    Good one, He he he!

  7. #7
    Super Member caspharm's Avatar
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    Very funny! LOL!

  8. #8
    Super Member
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    I've read this one several times before, but still LOL each time I see it! Thanks for sharing!
    When someone mentions quilting, I go to pieces!

  9. #9
    Senior Member booklady's Avatar
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    That' a laugh out loud good one.

  10. #10
    Super Member
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    Cracked me up! Thanks.

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