Strange Housekeeping Tips

Old 09-22-2010, 08:06 PM
  #1  
Junior Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: SE Qld. Australia
Posts: 271
Default

Tomorrow I will do the housework, NO EXCUSES!!! (unless they're good ones)

1. It is time to clean out the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.

2. If it walks out of your refrigerator, let it go!

3. The best mini-vac for an after meal clean up is the dog.

4. Keep it clean enough for healthy, dirty enough for happy.

5. Never make fried chicken in the nude.

6. Do not engage in unarmed combat with a dust bunny big enough to choke the vacuum cleaner.

7. You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again.

8. If guys were suppose to hang clothes up, door knobs would be bigger.

9. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

10. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

11. Simplify... hire a maid.

12: My second favourite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

13. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

14. I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

15. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"

16. When writing your name in the dust on the table, omit the date.

17. If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist that "THIS is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes..."
Aussie Quilter is offline  
Old 09-22-2010, 08:29 PM
  #2  
Super Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 2,189
Default

Cute.
CoyoteQuilts is offline  
Old 09-22-2010, 08:46 PM
  #3  
Google Goddess
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Central Indiana (USA)
Posts: 30,181
Default

very cute, thanks for sharing with us
craftybear is offline  
Old 09-22-2010, 09:04 PM
  #4  
Power Poster
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Idaho
Posts: 11,375
Default

5. Never make fried chicken in the nude.

Living in town, I don't think I will even wander around the house nude!!! There is no reason other people should be subjected to that!! LOL
Sadiemae is offline  
Old 09-22-2010, 09:40 PM
  #5  
Super Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Merced, CA
Posts: 4,188
Default

Don't vacuum until the cat hair dust bunnies are big enough to
set a trap for. And the cat runs from the dust bunny, fearing for his life.
Ramona Byrd is offline  
Old 09-22-2010, 09:41 PM
  #6  
Super Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Merced, CA
Posts: 4,188
Default

5. Never make fried chicken in the nude.
-------------------------------------------------
No, never cook anything that hisses and pops, or else you'd better toss both boobs over your left shoulder or tie them in a tasteful knot.
Ramona Byrd is offline  
Old 09-22-2010, 09:45 PM
  #7  
Super Member
 
Gramof6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 3,357
Default

Originally Posted by Ramona Byrd
5. Never make fried chicken in the nude.
-------------------------------------------------
No, never cook anything that hisses and pops, or else you'd better toss both boobs over your left shoulder or tie them in a tasteful knot.
:D I do agree! :D These were so cute! Thanks for the chuckle.
Gramof6 is offline  
Old 09-23-2010, 01:00 AM
  #8  
Senior Member
 
sew_southern's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Chattanooga, Tennessee
Posts: 870
Default

So you've been to my house? :lol: :lol:
sew_southern is offline  
Old 09-23-2010, 01:16 AM
  #9  
Super Member
 
Ms. Shawn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Madison Heights, VA
Posts: 1,334
Default

Originally Posted by Aussie Quilter
Tomorrow I will do the housework, NO EXCUSES!!! (unless they're good ones)

1. It is time to clean out the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.

2. If it walks out of your refrigerator, let it go!

3. The best mini-vac for an after meal clean up is the dog.

4. Keep it clean enough for healthy, dirty enough for happy.

5. Never make fried chicken in the nude.

6. Do not engage in unarmed combat with a dust bunny big enough to choke the vacuum cleaner.

7. You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again.

8. If guys were suppose to hang clothes up, door knobs would be bigger.

9. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

10. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

11. Simplify... hire a maid.

12: My second favourite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

13. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

14. I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

15. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"

16. When writing your name in the dust on the table, omit the date.

17. If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist that "THIS is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes..."
Very funny I really like #7!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :XD: :thumbup:
Ms. Shawn is offline  
Old 09-23-2010, 03:16 AM
  #10  
Super Member
 
SherriB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Quilting somewhere......
Posts: 2,591
Default

4. Keep it clean enough for healthy, dirty enough for happy.

I have small wooden plaque in my kitchen that says this:
"My house is clean enough to be healthy but dirty enough to be happy." And with 2 grandbabies living with us, that is how it will be for a while. LOL!!
SherriB is offline  
Related Topics
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
bearisgray
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
12
10-01-2015 04:42 AM
Jan in VA
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
27
06-22-2012 02:10 PM
raptureready
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
15
05-15-2012 10:57 AM
Ann63
Main
10
12-12-2010 05:14 PM

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


FREE Quilting Newsletter