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Thread: Thank you or no thank you?

  1. #1
    Senior Member LovinMySoldier's Avatar
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    My husband, son and I got a package in the mail last night. We opened it to find a bunch of odds and ends and knick knacks and such. Then with a card. The box was from my husband's aunt. She lives in Michigan and we live in Washington.

    In the card she states that she has stage 4 cancer (yes we did know) and that she doesn't know how long she has and wants everyone to have a piece of her. So she picked out some of her things for us to have.

    She was only diagnosed a few months ago. From what I have heard the doctors told her that she could still potentially live a very long life. But she is taking it like her life is over. The gesture of giving us some of her things is sweet and will be treasured. But how do I go about thanking her? Sending her a thank you card that says thanks for giving us your stuff because you think you are dying just seems wrong (lol no I wouldn't really word it like that but that's what I feel like a thank you note would come across as) I feel like I should say something or acknowledge this somehow but am at a loss as to what I should do.

  2. #2
    Power Poster Sadiemae's Avatar
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    Could you send a holiday card and just mention that you received the package and it was very thoughtful of her?

  3. #3
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    Question:

    Are these non-essential things (dust collectors) that she sent to you?

    If so, I would just send a note saying something like - Thank you so much of thinking of us and letting us know you are ill. We will be thinking of you, too. Love, ____

    If praying is what you do, you can add that to - I never know what to ask for - complete cure, to be pain free, for serenity, for enough energy to get things straightened out, acceptance - My "fall back" prayer is to ask that things work out the best for all concerned - because God knows (and I am not being facetious here) that I don't know what the best is.

  4. #4
    Super Member raptureready's Avatar
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    Just send a note saying that you'll be praying for her recovery, thank her for being so thoughtful and tell her that you'll treasure your gifts for years to come.

  5. #5
    Junior Member EskapetheNorm's Avatar
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    If you can afford it, send flowers and say something like "Thank you, thoughts of you always brighten my day"

    No need to dwell on the negative aspects ... take pictures of them all and then Goodwill the ones you really don't want.

  6. #6
    dforesee's Avatar
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    Speaking from your aunt's point of view (as I have had stage 4 cancer before; now in remission)... she opened this pandora's box herself with her gift, so it would not be offensive to thank her for the gifts and assure her they will always be treasured as will your memories of her. I am guessing that this gesture could indicate that she needs to talk about her possible impending death. If that is the case and you are willing, maybe you could carve out some time to pick up the phone to thank her and "let her talk." It may seem to you that she is looking on the negative side of things, but that negativity may be born of fear and uncertainty.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sadiemae
    Could you send a holiday card and just mention that you received the package and it was very thoughtful of her?
    I think that this is the kind of note I would like if I had sent a package to somebody.

  8. #8
    Super Member dream56's Avatar
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    I would send a thank you with words of encouragment for a healthy recovery. These may be items she wasn't useing and sometimes its times like this that make us think about cleaning out the unnecessary items instead of leaving them for someone else to do if the worst does happen.

    .

  9. #9
    Power Poster sueisallaboutquilts's Avatar
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    Awww that poor lady. It is a very nice gesture on her part but I can see how awkward it would be for you!
    I can't imagine how it feels to be in her shoes. You may want to say something to the effect that you will treasure her gifts and that you fully expect her to be around for a long time ahead. (maybe in a light-hearted but meaningful tone)
    EDIT- I love the post about calling her, if you are able. She may be very scared and depressed.

  10. #10
    Super Member starshine's Avatar
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    I think a lot of times when people pass away family or friends that are not in the area often don't get the chance to have some momentos of their loved ones, especially if no family live close. But even when family are close they aren't able to get things to others or it isn't important to them so they don't bother. Perhaps her diagnosis was a reminder of some similar situation and she wanted you to at least have something of hers. Perhaps they are favorites of hers. I think thanking her for being so considerate, with an added "hope we have you for a long time yet" will seem less -should I say morbid.

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