Welcome to the Quilting Board!

Already a member? Login above
loginabove
OR
To post questions, help other quilters and reduce advertising (like the one on your left), join our quilting community. It's free!

Page 1 of 4 1 2 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 35

Thread: They Walk Among Us!...funnies!!

  1. #1
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Crystal River Florida
    Posts
    9,466

    They Walk Among Us!...funnies!!

    IDIOT SIGHTING
    I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00
    I said "May I have large bills, please"

    She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."
    When I got up off the floor I explained it to her....

    IDIOT SIGHTING
    When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.' This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS

    IDIOT SIGHTING
    We had to have the garage door repaired.
    The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
    I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
    He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
    He said, 'NO, it's not..' Four is larger than two.'

    We haven't used Sears repair since.


    IDIOT SIGHTING
    My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.
    Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
    She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.
    She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.
    I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'
    The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

    Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

    IDIOT SIGHTING
    I live in a semi rural area.
    We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office
    to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
    The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
    I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

    From Kingman , KS



    IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE
    My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
    She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
    He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
    -- From Kansas City



    IDIOT SIGHTING
    I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
    'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
    To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
    He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

    Happened in Birmingham , Ala.


    IDIOT SIGHTING
    The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
    I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
    I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
    Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

    She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS


    IDIOT SIGHTING
    At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,'
    our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'
    Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

    This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.


    IDIOT SIGHTING
    I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
    and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

    A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.
    I quilt, therefore I am.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Helovesme's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Cedar Park TX
    Posts
    793
    Whoa! Very scary.

  3. #3
    Super Member Nanamoms's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    MS
    Posts
    3,175
    Blog Entries
    1
    Oh, Ditter, you always crack me up with your goodies!! I can totally believe the $$ ones....it confuses the heck out of the cashiers!!

  4. #4
    Junior Member Liz92B's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Calgary, Alberta
    Posts
    236
    I think I know a few of those ... {groan}
    Liz / Calgary

  5. #5
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    So.Ea. IN.
    Posts
    272
    I definately know the employee at Mc. I think she works at other places too.

  6. #6
    Super Member damaquilts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Barnesville GA
    Posts
    3,229
    Ditter these totally cracked me up especially the last one. They are just too good not to share with everyone I know.

  7. #7
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Abingdon, MD
    Posts
    1,660
    Thanks for the laugh!

  8. #8
    Super Member nannyrick.com's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Western New York
    Posts
    4,304
    These are too funny, LOL. Thanks for lsharing.
    so many quilts to make, so little time.

  9. #9
    Super Member burchquilts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Holmen, WI
    Posts
    7,610
    I used to live in Kingman, KS! This is too funny!
    (`v)
    `*..*
    .
    .*).*)
    (.(. (..`..♥ rebecca

  10. #10
    Super Member Dolphyngyrl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    4,704
    I think all of them work with me

Page 1 of 4 1 2 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.