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Thread: What's with the negativity?

  1. #1

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    I've been noticing a lot lately that there is a lot of negativity here. What I mean is this: When someone posts because they feel they may have been wronged by a quilt shop, the first reaction of most people is, Demand they fix it! Don't stand for it! Contact the BBB!, etc. Whatever happened to, Call and politely explain the issue and give them a chance to make it right? After all, honest mistakes happen all of the time. Also, when people share their stories of disappointment regarding how someone has received a gift, people post about rudeness and a lack of gratefulness and manners. There are also often a lot of posts about how kids, grand-kids, parents, in-laws, or what-have-you are "like that." It's not often that people give others the benefit of the doubt.

    I know that there are times when we must fight to get what we've paid for, and I know that sometimes relatives and friends disappoint us, but there seems to be, in my opinion, an unneccesarily angry vibe around here sometimes. I'm sure I'm not innocent of it, but why can't we all just lighten up and enjoy our shared hobby a bit more? It seems to bring more grief than joy to many that post here. I've struggled a lot with whether or not to continue reading this board lately. I've taken breaks for days at a time to ponder the question. I still haven't decided, but I suppose I did decide to throw this out there and get it off my chest. I'm not sure how others feel about it, but I know I'm dreading the responses. ;)

    For those of you who keep it light and fun, and who see the joy and pleasure where others choose to be disappointed and fight, thank you!

  2. #2
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    I totally agree with you.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Rachel's Avatar
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    I take it more as someone just needed to get something off their chest, so they aren't holding it in. I just read and let it go. sometimes you just need someone to listen.

  4. #4
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    I fully agree with you, Mattee. I think folks don't realize how negative it sounds. It's nice to have a place to dump/vent sometime, but I see it getting waved like a banner when multiple people report having experienced similar situations. I, too, have considered leaving the board, in spite of the good things that are here - guess we'll both have to see what the rest of the responses are.

  5. #5
    Super Member Quiltforme's Avatar
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    I just skip over the ones that say venting or frustrated sometimes this is the only outlet others might have and they need that short paragraph to get it off their chest get advice and come back to reality when your in the middle of an emotional issue some tend to forget the paths they need to take to resolve a problem. Just my opinion.

  6. #6
    Community Manager PatriceJ's Avatar
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    i, too, am dreading the responses. :lol:

    first, let me assure you that your sentiments are shared by far more members than you might think.

    now ... on the other hand ... and please do not interpret this as an argument against your point because it is not.

    it is possible that we paint with too wide a brush when we throw around words like "most." it does often prove to be true that the majority of people who add comments to the topics you've described tend to add their own negative thoughts and suggestions; what they think are corroborating horror stories, etc. anger feeds anger and things spiral out of control very quickly.

    but ... here's the question:

    does that necessarily mean that most of our members altogether think that way, and react that way?

    i think not. i think the reason such topics remain under the control of the Negative Nellies and Hysterical Hannahs is that the Sensible Sues and the Positive Pams move right on past them without stopping to comment. they avoid getting sucked into all the drama. so it looks like anger, fear, offense, etc are the dominant perspective when they really are not.

    so, while i personally agree with what you've said, i must respectfully disagree with the conclusion to which your observations have led you.

    the squeaky wheel gets the oil.

    the quiet, well balanced, properly inflated wheel keeps us rollin' along on a smooth and mostly happy road.

  7. #7
    Super Member bamamama's Avatar
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    I'm new here and have noticed plenty of positive posts and alot of enthustic comments when people post their photos and supportive comments when someone has a problem weather it is quilt realted or not. Yes there are some negative ones too but there are a lot of people who post here. If I open a post that I don't like the tone of I just close it and go to something that interests me more.

    It is interesting though that the negative ones seem to get the most comments!

  8. #8
    Super Member mommamac's Avatar
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    Postings here are kind of like TV channels to me... If I see something that has a neg. tone, I can click on to another 'channel'.

  9. #9
    Super Member noveltyjunkie's Avatar
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    I read the title expecting to agree with you, because negativity bothers me, and I agree that there is a lot of it around.

    But I have to say that I am much more bothered by general negativity ("children have no manners anymore" "this country is not like it used to be", "you have to have a gun" etc) rather than the "OMG I am so PI%%ED about this one thing that happened me today!" posts, which I see mostly just as outbursts, rather than chronic negativity.

    I am sorry that you are experiencing these posts in that way and that it is ruining your experience of this board, which I think is a really great resource.

  10. #10
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    These topics do keep our Moderators on their toes and at times on the edges of their seats.

    We just need to remember, venting can be ok... but bashing businesses is never ok. There are certain legalities that have to be kept in mind.

    If you ever wonder if the topic you are starting is ok, or if it belongs in Main, GCC or the PDA section? Drop Patrice J a PM and she will cheerfully help you out :D:D:D

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